#chapter 16

[howtodrawyourdragon]

Certain death makes Hiccup not afraid. Which is something both movie and book Hiccups have in common.

[erinwantstowrite]

chapter 16 ooc doodle :3

[everyakipanel]

Chapter 16: First Taste

[mrmathmanwr]

forcing a friend to read inuyasha, which is causing me to backtrack through several parts, and I think i just found the best inuyasha panel ever.

kagome, the ultimate girlboss.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 16 And wisdom choke you

Chapter 16 of Moonlight

A/N- Aegon: “Maester the psychos are loose. Help me.”

Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy, ANGST!!, fluff!!, Aegon, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- 2x06-2x07

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

Of course, you knew Aemond was going to kick his mother out of the Small Council. He said he didn't think she was really needed there anymore.

You also saw his unwillingness as he told you.

Is that why she’s here interrupting your peace?

“You look very lovely today, Your Grace,” Alicent offers you sweet words as if working up to her bribe. Or not?

Then again it’s not like you seek each other's company, so she most likely wants to talk about Aemond with you, and you have some idea what she might say. She was basically yelling it at you for help during the Small Council meeting.

Still, you pretend you don't have a clue and spare a glance at the pretty teal dress decorated with embroidered stars on the long capes that cascade down your shoulders, and then look over at her and notice her studying the pearl headpiece that you wear, the golden arm sleeves that hang from your armbands and weigh down your arms before she meets your gaze and gives you a smile.

“I have to say I always like how you dress, and I don’t know how you do it with your morning sickness.” She says and takes a step closer while you offer her a genuine smile.

“I will admit I don’t know how I do it either, I’d rather be abed, but,” you sigh and take a glance around. “There’s stuff to be done and I really hate being bored and so plain dressed. I blame my father for that.” You laugh softly. “There was never a day I did not see him dressed so extravagantly…except for when it came to training of course.”

She offers you a faint smile and adds nothing since there’s really nothing she wanted to say about your father to avoid upsetting you, and well, she really didn’t care at the moment.

“After the small council meeting, I could not help but hear that you are having trouble keeping food down,” Alicent brings up to not drift away too far.

You nod. “Yes, I,” you pause and drop your gaze as you find that your next words come easy to you. Is it because the way she framed her question is how your mother would have asked you? Or because you really are seeking some help on the matter?

“…I have been finding it hard between not being hungry and not keeping the food down, or my head and stomach aching,” you spill out your troubles out of desperation. “I never had that while I was expecting Aerion. It was rather easy then.”

Alicent finishes closing the distance between you to be able to grab your arm as she looks at you softly, making her brown eyes almost inviting to get lost in.

“It’s all normal, not every experience will be the same, especially with twins,” she tries to offer you what you seek. “Morning sickness goes away, I found that ginger tea with drops of lemon juice helped me when I was feeling under the weather with Daeron.”

You take in her suggestion with a gentle nod and soon thereafter see her hand gently slide off your arm.

“It will go away. Just like one of the twins will grow like their sibling, don’t worry,” she adds, making you swallow back nervously and nod in comprehension.

“Aemond,” you share in a soft voice that you rarely use when you’re talking with her. “Has tried to read into it. I caught him this morning since it’s the only time he can dive back into his own pleasures before Regent duties steal his attention.”

Alicent blinks and her eyes lose that sweet attempt at being comforting, instead, something else flickers within that makes her eyes dull and her lips droop to a long forming frown.

“He has really jumped into his role as Regent hasn’t he?” She mutters and takes a step back. “He would be so quiet at meetings with Aegon, now…” she trails off and pauses whilst her eyes search the white tree behind you. “He's…different. Colder.”

You take in her words to try and find the fault she clearly sees, but you find nothing. “Well…we are in a time of war. He needs to be hard so people listen, a gentle voice makes them too lenient and carefree like Lord Jason Lannister.”

Alicents eyes snap to you and the corner of her lips twitch with discontent, yet she doesn’t give up.

“Does that mean having to kick his own mother out of the Small Council?” She now blurts, making you stiffen only because it’s awkward and something she should talk about with anyone else but you.

“If it’s any consolation, the decision wasn’t easy to make,” you reveal, causing her eyebrows to briefly meet in the middle as she’s slightly surprised by the words you admit. But then her expression changes as she’s proven right.

“I see,” she mumbles and drifts her eyes away for a moment before she lifts her head up high to slowly look at you with this desperation that makes her eyes wide and glisten as if she wants to lure you in.

“You and Aemond are close, I see that. I have always seen it since you were children, but now that you’re married, now that you have a family of your own it seems that connection has only grown,” she rolls out of her tongue. “I’m glad that he has someone he loves, a best friend with a key to his heart. He needs that now more than ever.”

You blink and slowly figure her out. Those sweet words, and that thing she’s doing with her eyes.

“He needs someone to keep him calm, someone to make him see reason,” she continues to ramble. “And I’m glad that it’s you. You’re gentle just like your mother. You have reason. And you’re smart.”

And once again she’s proving that she does not know you. The way you are is a reason why your mother was also hesitant to let you fight, like Jacaerys you’re quick to upset, so you suppose you get that from her.

“You have to be his reason, you have to be like a voice in his head, and I know it’s not always easy but you are the only one with access to his heart—”

“And I have no means of changing it,” you cut off her rambling while looking at her with discontent and disapproval. “He can’t be on his ass, or be some lenient Regent who lets people walk over him. He has to put his foot down; he has to get his hands dirty. We’re at war. You see that, you have lost a soul because of this war, do you want to lose more?” You snap at her in defense of Aemond.

“I will interfere when I can,” you admit but that doesn’t offer her peace of mind, instead she grows more upset. “But I won't bend him at the will of anyone just so he can what? Give you your seat back on the Small Council?”

Alicent swallows back nervously and drags in a deep breath that makes her chest rise high. When she lets the breath go it comes out shaky and her eyes now glisten because she’s being attacked.

Yet she doesn’t let herself be defeated just yet; she holds your gaze and tries to jab back. “I wonder if you will say the same thing in regards to him hurting more of your family? Or do you say this now because it benefits you?”

Your jaw clenches and your anger is quickly summoned, but you’re also quick to reel it back to respond with an icy demeanor that works to intimidate her more than your anger would.

“Have you ever been in love?” You catch her off guard with your question, and as you see that you give her a moment to collect herself and gather her thoughts.

Albeit her lips part and she doesn’t answer, her eyebrows knit together and she looks at you troubled, as if the question itself is physically tolling.

You see that so answer for her. “I will take that as a no, so I will explain it to you,” you continue with a hint of cockiness behind every word. “I tried hating Aemond, I did. I told him that, but…no matter what he did, I can’t muster myself to. I can’t even muster a smidge of hate. Even when I’m mad at him he’s such a relief to see, does that make me foolish? Maybe. Maybe I am foolish for loving someone who killed my brother, but…” you trail off and swallow back thickly.

“My heart sings for him, for every part of him. The bad parts, and especially the good ones. That’s what love is. It’s loving every part of them. It’s not about changing them to your will, you can guide them, and help them, but why would you want to change who they are? If you’re going to be with someone, it's because you love who they are. Why would you be with someone that you want to change?”

Alicent blinks repeatedly and tries hard to fight the tears brought by defeat and guilt.

“I see who Aemond is turning out to be,” you try to be understanding. “I see his anger, but don’t you see that he’s always been like that? Deep inside it’s who he is, who was made to be. And he’s not all bad, he just can’t express his desperation to keep his family safe, don’t you see that? He’s not only working for my son and me but for you and Helaena. So no…I won’t change him. I love him. I love who he is. I love all of him,” you say those last words tenderly and it almost works to convince her that it will all be fine, but you see it, she’s still scared of him, of who’s coming out of the shadows.

And maybe soon you will change your mind, he will do things that will make you change your mind, but right now you believe every word that comes out of your mouth. You love him with all of yourself. You love all of him.

“We’re at war, Alicent, we have to be ruthless. Us, more than anyone because we’re women. Learn that,” you offer her a piece of advice and take a deep breath before you walk away from her, catching Helaena approaching the Godswood.

“Your Grace,” you greet her and curtsy.

Helaena curtsy back. “Your Grace,” she says back with a tiny smile. “You are Regent now.”

You scoff in amusement and see her pass her focus to Alicent. “Mother,” she greets. “I hope I am not interrupting.”

You shake your head. “No, we just got done talking.”

Helaena hums and her eyes drift back to you. “I was hoping we could take a stroll to talk. Are you busy?”

You beam at her and shake your head. “Nope, the rest of my day is open, so I’m all yours,” you assure her and skip over to her to fall at her side and guide her away. Yet before she can walk with you she bids her mother a goodbye.

“I will see you later.”

Alicent offers her daughter a sweet smile and redirects a short goodbye, letting Helaena then give most of her attention to you, and little attention to where you walk. And it’s good that she does because the truth is, you don’t pay much mind to where you walk, you just walk with your shadows trailing behind you.

“Have you thought of any names for the twins?” Helaena wanders.

You clasp your hands behind you and sigh. “I have thought of them, but I am still indecisive.”

Helaena hums and then turns her head to look at you with excitement. “When I was expecting the twins I was really eager to think of names. I remember. So perhaps I can give you some ideas, like, Shiera, or Gael for girls and for boys maybe Laenor, like your father.”

You blink repeatedly and a sweet and tender smile spreads on your lips. “Yes, I think Laenor would be a perfect name…if I have a boy…you don’t happen to know do you?” You try and probe, making her look away and lose herself in the distance.

“No,” she says thoughtfully. “My dreams…well…I can’t really conjure up what to dream. Do you understand? It all just comes when it wants.”

You follow her line of gaze and hum in comprehension. “It must be heavy. Knowing so much stuff, I mean.”

Helaena blinks and her eyes fall to her hands. “Well…I have had them since I can remember, so the weight is not something I feel anymore.”

You look at her with slight pity, but she looks at you with a very faint smile. “But that’s why I like going on dragonback, I feel free in a lot of ways when I’m in the sky with Dreamfyre. That’s why I liked it when we went flying together. Will we be able to fly together soon, do you think?”

You see the hope clinging to her eyes. You see the desire to have something not tainted by this war. And it makes it hard to be honest, but you can’t lie either. “I hope so. I miss flying without worrying that I’ll hit the blockade, or run into armies of men ready to shoot down my dragon, or me,” you don’t avoid the truth, even as bleak as it sounds.

“Maybe once this war is over and we don’t have to worry about coming across angry people, then we can fly as freely as we want and land on a small Island where we can swim, and watch the sunset. Now that our children have dragons of their own,” you muse with a grin.

Yet Helaena fails to mirror that hopeful joy, or any joy at all, her eyes remain downcast, but this time a small frown curls on her lips and her eyebrows knit together.

“Are you…okay?” You press carefully, gaining her immediate attention as if caught by surprise.

“Yes,” she answers bluntly.

You search her gaze, but like many times before, you can’t read her. You wish you could, you wish you could know all that she knows but you also know that if you did your mind would collapse with all that knowledge, and it would probably cease to exist. So you leave it untouched and leave it up to her to share what she wants or deems significant.

Thus you move on to a peaceful silence you both don’t mind being wrapped in. There does come times when you comment something to each other, but it’s never heavy, it’s lighthearted to be able to escape from the wrath and find peace with each other.

There’s also never a sign of a grudge from her since you are Regent now. She actually thanks you for taking the attention away from her and says if she could, she would give you the title to return to her humble living as a princess. But she can’t do such a thing so she gives you her thanks instead and adds that she’s also grateful that she feels tranquil when you’re with each other, causing you to think that if you had a sister you would want her to be as gentle and sweet as Helaena.

Actually, Helaena is like a sister to you. She might be older than you, but she feels like a little sister you must protect at all costs. You want to shield her from this terrible world the same way you want to shield your little brothers.

She’s too fragile and good for this world, you want to protect her from that, but you also want her to fight, to grow thorns like a fragile rose so she’s not so easily plucked. But alas you know a lot of people can’t and aren’t like that and that’s okay too. You’ll protect her regardless, you’ll be the thorns to her rose. A fire a dragon breathes, and the sharp teeth they bear. Just for her.

——

*LATER*

Whilst on your stroll with Helaena, you found yourself near the roofs where Aemond and you would escape to when you were kids, where all you had at that moment was each other's company, and you couldn’t stop thinking of those sweet moments when everything was much more simple. Maybe that’s why later that same day you found yourself sitting on the roof watching the sun set so peacefully as if it doesn't hide tragedy on its horizon, and hoping that you could still grasp onto those simple times even if you know they’re nothing but a memory now.

“Aren’t you cold?” A soft voice cuts in through the chilly air. “With your back exposed like that?”

You must have summoned Aemond with your mind, or perhaps you just missed each other when you came up to the roofs and he went to your chambers.

“Beauty is pain,” you remark with a cheeky grin. “You of all people should know that. Tell me, how painful is it being so beautiful?” You lull out cheekily, and when you look over your shoulder you catch a rosy blush on his cheeks that makes you grin and feel accomplished.

“No, but really,” you scoff and look back at the bleeding sunset. “I don’t mind it much.”

“Is it that warm flesh of yours?” He quips but also wonders out of curiosity.

You sigh deeply and wait until he’s sitting by you before you shake your head. “No. I just don’t mind the cold because I prefer less constrictive gowns. Why?” You roll out and tilt your head to the side to look at him with a pressing gaze. “Am I exposing myself too much for your liking husband?”

Aemond rolls his eye but doesn’t actually argue to prove you wrong.

“It’s not like what I say will stop you from wearing what you like,” he mutters to the part of the sky that’s already littered with stars.

“Nope,” you deadpan. “And it doesn’t seem like you mind them much when you’re gawking at me.”

Aemond scoffs and you look over at him with a smirk twitching on your lips. He then slowly drifts his eyes over to you and a smirk flashes on his lips before he smiles shyly at the book that you barely notice on his lap.

“I find you beautiful in everything you wear,” he says, making you giggle and drop your head on his shoulder—“I just don’t like when other people gawk. Like my uncle.”

“Your uncle is older than my mother,” you comment. “And thinks he’s younger than he is…no offense or anything.”

Aemond doesn’t argue in his uncle's defense so you continue.

“Don’t worry about anyone. I will only have eyes for you, and I will only be yours,” you finish in a whisper.

Aemond remains quiet and just presses a kiss on the top of your head without moving his lips away after that moment. He keeps his lips and nose nuzzled against your head and now admires the same blazing horizon you do, going unaware of your current desire to grasp at some reminder of the simple times to relive them just for a little bit. You want to live back in those moments for a while, you long for it, but you also figure out that it’s something that you can’t fight to get back. You can only reminisce and live through what life has to offer you now.

“Aemond,” you whisper shakily and want to pull away to meet him in the eye, but you’re also afraid of what you’ll see, so you stay as you are and watch as the horizon gets distorted with tears that build in your eyes. “Are you scared…of me? Of what I can do?”

Right away he sees that any hesitation will make you doubt and make you question everything about yourself, so he answers right away without an ounce of deceit. “No, should I be?”

You shake your head lightly and whisper. “No. I don’t want you to be.”

“I’m not,” he presses so you can finally cement that in your heart and stop overthinking.

“Good,” you whisper that to yourself before you finally decide to touch on the unspoken subject. “I would have said something if I knew what I was, or why I can’t be hurt by fire. I’ve been trying to look into it, but I cannot find anything. I wanted to find what I could be before I told anyone so I didn’t seem mad. Do you understand?”

Aemond hums and lingers in his silence before he pulls away and pushes the book towards you. “It was one of my father's books Aegon had stashed.”

You look at Aemond with awe because that’s all that befalls you at that very moment as you come to realize that he’s been trying to read more into what you could be, or what could have led to you being immune to fire.

You didn’t even ask him to do it.

“I could not find much, I’m sure there’s something in Dragonstone, or somewhere lost in the world, but what I did find…” he continues to make your heart dance, and your love for him to grow. “…was that our Valyrian ancestors would practice blood magic in Old Valyria, I’m sure it came from something magic-related.”

You scoff and finally tear your eyes off him to look at the pages you flip through. “So I’m cursed?”

“No,” Aemond quickly scoffs and looks at the pages you’re going through. “You are not hurt by fire, I would not call that being cursed. I think it makes you special,” he speaks softly and full of fascination, and as soon as you catch that oozing off his voice you stop flipping through the pages and slowly look at him with relief, disbelief, and just utter awe that he doesn’t shame you and proves what you saw that night right.

He sees you. He knows you’re something so much more, something important and that can mean so much.

Albeit at this very moment he is averting your gaze out of timidness, proving Alicent’s fears wrong. He’s no monster, and it’s sad that she thinks that.

“You think so?” You still ask for reassurance.

Aemond’s gaze lingers on the page before he slowly meets your gaze with a soft smile and adoration that makes his blue eye soft and easy to get lost in. “I know it. I’m certain of it.”

Your heart flutters, causing your lips to tremble as happy tears fill your eyes.

Sure perhaps if you confided in your mother or someone else you trust they too would say a variation of the same thing, but there’s something about not having to tell Aemond, about him discovering it for himself that makes this so much more special, and so much more tender. If only you knew what was really rushing through his mind, you would have probably collapsed or had some heart attack.

And he wants to tell you every feeling that’s making his heart mad with more love and lust, but he keeps it all in to avoid sounding mad to you. He doesn’t want you to think he’s mad, even if you probably wouldn’t, he doesn’t tell you how special you both are because he rides the largest dragon and you have fire-made flesh.

You both are Regents now too. You are both ruthless, you are both called for greater deeds, you both are greater than those below you, and you are one in the same now. He used to think that before but now…now you are one.

That’s what he thinks…

“I’m glad you think so,” you mumble and reach your hand over to cup his jaw and caress his cheek with your thumb as you just relish in how grateful you are that he understands and that he looks at you with admiration and love rather than fear.

“And thank you for trying to look for an answer,” you add. “It means a lot.”

He brings his hand up to cup yours and caresses your knuckles while he just stares at you in awe.

“You are special,” he makes it clear to you and your dancing heart swooning for him. “You always have been special to me.”

You lean in but don’t press your lips against his right away. You stop to smile in relief first before you close that distance with a slow and passionate kiss that you both find sync in quickly and move like you’re starving for each other's taste.

It’s no wonder why you came out with a child 4 months after having your first son. Neither of you can keep your hands off each other, or keep your lips from molding into each other. And now with you both being regent and the discovery of this gift, you find a new and hotter vigor for each other.

Yet neither of you get carried away right then at that moment. You pull away after a while to catch your breaths and press your forehead against his to avoid losing contact.

Rather than basking in the silence that the night has to offer on the roofs, you find words to share through your heavy breaths. “Will you let me fight now? I don’t want to be sitting here waiting to hear news. I want…I want to fight on my dragon. I don’t have to fight on the ground, just let me be on Astraea. We can help. Please,” you beg and stroke his cheek.

Aemond licks his lips and peels away to meet your waiting gaze. He parts his lips, but nothing comes out but hesitation that you quickly rebuttal

“At least when we’re together then,” you try to lure him to agree. “So you can be there if anything does happen. Please. I won’t get burnt, you know that. I will wear armor. And Astraea will keep me safe.”

Aemond’s eye drifts down to your belly, so you grab his hand and press it against you. “We will be fine,” you insist. “I will be fine.”

Aemond looks up at you and clenches his jaw as he stares hard, but after a while, he sighs and gives you his answer. “Fine.”

You flash him a beaming grin before you throw your arms around him and thank him by whispering in his ear over and over again.

“Any sign of any greater danger and you’re out do you understand?” He makes sure to let you know harshly. “I will throw you over my shoulder or have you taken like you’re captive, do you understand? I am not risking your life.”

You chuckle and pull your head back but keep your arms wrapped around him to assure him. “I understand.”

Aemond groans and you give him a peck on his lips and mutter against them. “<I love you.>”

Aemond holds your gaze and pouts with discontent because you just completely defeated him, but you don't care, you brush him off to steal another kiss from him, causing him to pull away.

You ignore his frustration and flash him a smug smile before you push the book away to shift around and lay on your back with your head on his lap to be able to look up at the stars that paint the night sky. Now you know that you can’t stay up here forever, no matter how much you want to avoid this war, but there’s nothing wrong with stealing a moment for yourselves under the twinkling stars, and the bright full moon.

“I’m here,” you start to reminisce. “And I can’t help but think about how I wanted to escape. How I wanted to be somewhere else…” you trail off and Aemond rests his hand on your arm that you sling over your chest. “And if you told me that you wanted to leave right now, I would grab Aerion and I would leave with you,” you admit, making him steal a glance at you.

“But,” you add. “I like to think I have matured out of that desperate desire.”

There’s nothing Aemond can really say in response, there’s nothing you want him to say so you appreciate his silence before you finally tear your eyes away from the stars that kept you captive, and look at him with a hint of sadness, but also like you’re somewhere far.

“Do you want to know what else I dreamed about when I would find myself alone here…or anywhere?”

Aemond hums to probe so you do just that, you continue softly, ever so feathery, enchantingly so. “I would dream of being Queen.”

It’s something you knew you wanted. It’s something he knew you almost had.

it was there at your reach, but it was taken away. You have never admitted it to him, your deepest desire until now. “I wanted the power,” you say like you’re reciting the most beautiful poem. “Did that make me selfish? Power-hungry? No, I never thought of it that way because I deserved it.” You nod softly and he looks deep into your soul with a softening gaze. “It was my destiny. I wanted to be like Good Queen Alysanne, like Queen Rhaenys the Conqueror. I dreamt of it, I pictured myself as Queen. I wanted to be good, I imagined I would be even though it could never be mine.”

You sigh shakily and look up at the sky as if you’re searching for that dream again amongst the stars.

“As I got older that desire turned to anger and resentment, but I was taught not to be angry about it and many things. And I was never angry at my mother or my brother, I was angry at the people who said that I couldn’t have it. I am still angry to this day. It’s deep inside me, but I still am because they took it,” you sneer but not with a loud rage, you are still soft-spoken, like you’re more sad than angry.

“And they made me feel weak,” you say between a grimace and a tremble in your voice, which Aemond catches. He catches every emotion, he’s captivated by every word and stuck on the tears that roll down your cheeks.

“They made me feel like I didn’t belong,” you continue. “Because if I’m the oldest and not my mother's heir then why? Why am I here? They…made me feel like I needed to prove myself to be something every day of my life…” you trail off and he finds tears creeping in his eye too. He finds that his throat stings because he felt what you did too when he had no dragon. Even now when he does, that need to prove himself still lingers just like it does in you.

“I understand,” he admits above a whisper, pulling your teary eyes back to him to look deep into his soul that cries as it feels understood, and as you prove to him that you are one in the same. That you were always meant to burn together—“I understand the feeling.”

You sit up and cup his cheek to wipe away his stray tear, and he mirrors your actions to wipe away the tears that roll down your own cheeks.

“But now I ride the biggest dragon,” he continues with a ferocity that he was quick to find. “And you,” he muses. “You are not hurt by fire. You are unburnt. We are Regents. We have the power, we do not need to prove anything to anyone. Not anymore. The world is ours now. We don’t have to be belittled by it anymore.”

You offer him an admiring smile and shake your head. “I don’t need the world to be mine,” you confess. “I have you, Aerion, my dragon, and the twins. That’s all I need. I am content. That’s my fight now. The power as Regent is an added bonus, I like it and if I were to have more I would make the most of it, but I am content now with you, and the little blessing you gave me.”

Aemond parts his lips, but he’s at a loss for words. All he can continue doing is admire you; your divine beauty, the sweet smile on your perfect lips, the tears that still trail down your perfectly sculpted face, and the love and awe in your eyes that make them gleam beautifully.

He really wants to say something, but he’s left knowing that all that he is, all that he wants to be, and all that he wanted to be, exists there with you.

He exists only for you, for his son, for his mother and sister, but you hold a special place in his heart because you continue to see him. You understand his conflicted soul more than anyone and he appreciates that understanding, and thanks it with kisses, with deep and passionate kisses that lead to neither of you wanting to part. They engulf you both with desire that takes you back to your chambers where you demand to be alone even if that sends your son away to different chambers.

Your passion drives you mad with lust and with the need to please each other in different ways. Your heated passion leaves you unsatisfied after one round and makes you want more and more until you're both exhausted, but completely full and happily satisfied.

Sleep came to be quite minimal after. Your days start earlier now, but you both found yourselves awake so you filled the silence while you waited for the day to get started for you.

He mostly complained though, but you don’t mind. You like that he shares his complaints with you.

“Lord Jason is just scared, it’s normal,” you try to ease the crease that forms between his brows. “He’s never fought a war, he’s scared.”

Aemond shakes his head and parts his lips to argue but you cut him off to get your point across. “With that said, am I excusing how lazy he’s being? No. He’s being too lenient and not taking it as seriously as he should. The boost in power has gotten to his head.”

Aemond sighs deeply and mutters. “He's only head of the army because of his brother, I would have chosen someone else for the job, someone who doesn’t need me to go to his rescue to get the job done sooner.”

You stop tracing circles on the mattress and snicker before you tilt your head up to steal a glance at Aemond. “I hear he’s taken lions with him,” you add with a teasing smile growing on your lips. “What exactly are they supposed to do?”

Aemond crosses his arms over his bare chest and mutters. “They want to be like us. They want to rule the land because they see we rule the sky.”

You shift your head down on your palm and giggle. “Them and their golden lions are funny. They believe their golden lions are like our dragons, but they can’t stand on the clouds, they roll in the dirt and call those clouds.”

Aemond chuckles, and as you lay on your side with your head resting on your propped-up hand, you slide your hand over his torso. “With a lion, if you turn your back, they dig their claws in you, no matter how long you’ve raised them. With dragons, you bond with them and they will forever be bound to your soul, they are a part of your soul. So no matter how hard they all try, no house will ever reach us as long as our dragons live.”

Aemond hums, and you press your fingers on his torso before you slide them over and look up with a slightly narrowed look. “That’s why you need to remind this Lord Lion that he’s no one to be ordering you or anyone else around. If he’s a coward who needs a security blanket to fight then tell him you will find someone else who can.”

“And if Daemon does decide to meet them in battle?” Aemond does let you hear some of his doubt, and as possible as it is, you doubt he will. At least you hope he won’t, there’s other battles to fight with Caraxes, it doesn’t seem like he’d be bothered to fight against Lord Jason unless they’re desperate or want an easy win.

“Then he meets them, but I doubt that Daemon will bother to fight any Lannister army. If it was Ser Criston then yes, I would say you should worry, but it’s not, so I would not give it a second thought. He'll send another army to fight for him.”

Aemond nods gently in comprehension and you stare at him for a lingering moment with a growing smile before you climb up the bed to be face to face. “Will you miss me at today's small council meeting?”

Aemond lazily hangs his arm over your waist and glances down at your lips. “Well, I’ll have to be stuck staring at old men and toads so yes.”

You laugh and query. “Toads?”

“Lord Larys.”

You snort and smack his shoulder. “That’s…true,” you wanted to say it was rude but as you think about it now it’s true. “Well,” you roll out and scale your fingers up to caress his chest. “If you ever miss me throughout the day just come to our quarters I’ll be here all day getting my braids done.”

Aemond huffs softly and can’t help but cup your cheek, the same cheek that bears the scar he made six years ago, and hovers his thumb over the scar before he gently trails it.

“Just remember,” you speak softly and grab his hand. “Clear mind Aemond. Don’t let your anger blind you. I know sometimes the men around you can be irritating and all you want to do is lash out, but anger doesn’t work in this situation. It doesn’t work when it comes to planning, okay? Clear mind and hold your anger back for this, hm?”

Aemond doesn’t say anything in return, he just presses a kiss on the heel of your hand and you take that as a comprehensive response.

Not so much later Vanessa, Aerion’s wetnurse, and servants barge in and your lax morning is upturned to a rowdy morning and you know your day has kickstarted. No more rest, and there’s only a little privacy while you break fast, but that serenity is cut short soon thereafter by Aerion crying. At least this morning you could stomach—or the twins felt like letting you eat so you really take that as a positive first step of a good day. Or as good as a day can be nowadays.

Can you say the rest of the day you're going through is bad? No, mostly because when you’re in your chambers sometimes it feels like the day passes over you. The news doesn’t come to you right away, and since you aren’t going out of your way to seek it you have to wait for it to come to you. You live in a little bubble when days like today are spent surrounded by the four walls of your quarters. Do you mind it?

Not today. You enjoy basking in the obliviousness, you enjoy the escape, the serenity as Vanessa takes her time to carefully braid your white hair whilst you pass golden cuffs, and pearls that hang from rings so she can put them in your hair.

She doesn’t tug too harshly, she’s gentle, slow, and very intricate with each braid, and each placement of the pearls, and the cuffs, that you could fall asleep. Actually, sometimes you do find yourself dozing off while you’re reading, but mostly you sit in the serenity that obliviousness brings.

“Perhaps soon I can wear that gown from Yi-Ti, the sea green one that looks blue under certain lights?” You ask for an opinion. “That one is my favorite because of the black chest piece that comes with the cloak. It’s very…exquisite, and the embroidery on the sleeves and all the golden accessories it comes with,” you swoon. “I wish I lived there, I would need a castle just for my wardrobe!”

“You should see how they dress when the summer is at its peak,” Ser Jason cuts into the conversation. “The silks are truly…silk.”

You snort and look at him through the mirror as he puts down books you needed from the library, but couldn't get at this very moment.

“You’ve been to Yi-Ti?” You muse and get tempted to turn around, but Vanessa would scold you for moving so you just stare at the knight in awe and envy.

Ser Jason’s eyes flicker to the ground and he hesitates before he nods gently. “Yes, not long, but I’ve been at the peak of summer.”

Your smile slowly grows to a grin and you probe because that’s all you can do. “Is it as they say? Is it really so beautiful? Are there golden castles?”

Ser Jason chuckles and shakes his head as he keeps avoiding eye contact and stands incredibly still. “No, those are just tall tales, but they do have a lot of gold. Statues, the peak of roofs, and tapestries lined with beautiful golden threads that almost look like rich gold. And the food,” he sighs as if recalling the taste in his mouth.

“It’s otherworldly,” you let him keep filling your head with tales of his life, a life you wish you could live just to see those wonders he got to see with his own eyes. “I…I would love to describe it, but there’s truly no words I could use to describe how all those flavors dance on one's tongue.”

You nod gently and hope for more, but he looks at you through the mirror and falters. That confidence he garnered to speak of those marvels is lost and he’s reverted back to his stammering and timidness. “Of course, you…you should go witness it all for yourself. You would love it.”

That wonder twinkling in your eyes dims and your smile is not as sweet. “It’s easier said than done sadly. I have jewelry with rare gems from Yi-Ti, I have gowns made with their rich fabrics and designed by their creative minds, but that’s how far I go.”

“You'd think with all the money and privilege you wouldn’t let them tell you how to live your life,” he dares to say, causing your second sworn protector to peek his head inside after what he overheard, while you and Vanessa stiffen and look at the sudden bold knight.

“One would think,” you hit back and catch his eyes widening in shock as if he did not actually expect you to respond, or as if shocked about what came out of his mouth is true.

“But I am a woman, a princess, and the only daughter of a queen, my life has been planned since the moment I was born,” your voice goes hard and cold while your eyes express the same bitterness. “Stories and dreams are as far as I go.”

Ser Jason blinks repeatedly as his mouth is left agape. “I know women with just as much who left it all behind to find a lot more riches in accomplishing their dreams.”

Your eyes flicker to a glare, but tears break through as you slowly come to realize that all you have is dreams of grand places and grand adventures. There’s nothing you can do but dream again. He returns that cruel reminder to your mind.

“Thank you, Ser,” you dismiss him and avert your gaze so you don’t know how he reacts, you just know Ser Cane Clegane steps in to watch the knight walk out before closing the door and leaving Vanessa and you alone once again. Now though the serenity you once relished is a dream too.

“Princess,” Vanessa whispers with traces of pity, so you quickly shut her down.

“I’ve been meaning to ask about the plans Mysaria sent?” You abruptly change the subject to something you did not want to touch just yet but have to now. “Are they ready?”

Vanessa glances back and makes sure the door is closed before she stops braiding your hair and leans down to whisper. “All done. The food will be sent later tonight and should arrive in the morrow.”

Food. That’s the plan your mother has so far. It’s an excellent plan in response to all the hungry smallfolk just wanting food but getting scraps or worse from their King, and Regent.

The smallfolk will know who to thank and start to look at your mother with hope for a change, which means they will do as she wants and gain their love and support.

“We will make sure to keep away from the city tomorrow then,” you say and watch Vanessa back up to continue doing what she was doing. “It will be chaos.”

She hums and only seconds later the doors get thrown open and in comes your beloved husband in a huff.

“What is it?” You ask right away as you notice his nose is flared and his jaw is clenched.

He doesn’t look injured so it doesn’t seem like he got hurt at the training yard or anywhere else for that matter. He looks pissed though, so something is bothering him.

“It’s,” he heaves. “Aegon. He’s awoken.”

You blink in disbelief. “But,” you shake your head. “The maester said there was little chance he would wake.”

Aemond lets out a heavy breath and walks up to your vanity to lean against it so you’re able to face him and his contorted face.

“So he said, but…it seems my brother beat the odds. He fought for once,” he grumbles and drops his glare on his fiddling hands, so you give Vanessa a break before you lean forward and place your hands over Aemond’s cold but soft hands.

“He still can’t walk, or probably stay awake for that long for that matter,” you try to make his mind clear of all the thoughts rushing behind his eye and clouding his mind. “He won’t be that competent.”

Aemond watches his thumb brush over your fingers and whispers. “And what he did to you while I was away? Does he get away with that?”

You secure your hold on his hand and pull his gaze to you, letting you offer him an assuring smile. “He won’t be as he was ever again. That’s enough justice.”

Yet you aren’t completely satisfied yet, but that’s something Aemond can’t fulfill. You have to. You will.

“Is it?” He asks as if he can read the thoughts in your mind.

You offer him a small but assuring nod that he takes to heart. “It is.” You try to assure him, but neither him nor you are left satisfied. Yet that’s not something either of you share, you just individually know you will selfishly reach for that piece of justice yourselves because you won’t be left savoring even a piece of it.

——

*LATER*

Aemond has been caught up handling some business you don’t care about so you take advantage of being left alone and go visit your King, since he’s awake now. What a miracle!

You just want to check on him, on his wounds and mental state. You want to give him your best wishes so he can have a quick recovery. That’s all.

You tell that to his Kingsguard protecting his chambers, but it’s not like they had any say in letting you in or not. They’re hesitant, they make excuses that he’s going to take milk of the poppy and fall asleep again, but you don’t care. You walk in with your long beautiful gown flowing behind you, and a golden candle handler in your hand to light your way.

Oh, and when you walk in you don’t forget to continue humming a haunting and menacing song that sends a chill down the spines of the servants and the Maesters tending to Aegon, while the king himself is confused. One could say he felt like he was dreaming, your humming was faint at first, but the haunting melody still managed to swirl in his ear. Even as your silhouette was beginning to get conjured up on the curtains covering his bed, he did not expect you to appear out of your own will.

Thus when the sheer curtains are slowly pulled to the side and you appear there like some haunting ghost, he still does not think you're real.

“Leave us,” you cut your humming off to demand the maesters and the servant girls away.

“But—” a maester tries to argue, but you snap your eyes to him and shoot him a menacing glare that shuts him up and makes him bow his head.

“I will give him the milk of the poppy,” you add to reassure the maester while you return your eyes to Aegon.

Once you know that the maesters and the servant girls are gone, you start humming again, but this time much more softer than before, making Aegon more convinced that you’re haunting his dreams.

He does watch you walk to him slowly with your eyes fixated on his flared scars still red and raw, but all he knows for sure is that his breathing is picking up while goosebumps crawl down his spine as he also feels captivated. Even more so when you come to a stop just under the moonlight that reflects inside his quarters.

The bright light completely captures you in its soft hue. It makes the golden cuffs, and the golden rings holding the pearls in your hair, glimmer, while your long silver-white hair itself almost gleams like thousands of pristine diamonds. And perhaps that's your only intention, just presenting yourself, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if you intend to smile at him either, but you do and his chambers now are completely silent, striking more fear to his heart.

Yet he still thinks he’s dreaming.

“Did it hurt?” You fill the silence with your question and study the part of his face that now is forever scared because of the dragonfire that feasted on his flesh.

“I have always wondered,” you continue in a sweet voice while you tilt your head up just slightly to look at the bald spot that now leaves part of his head naked. “I can gladly say that I have never been hurt by fire,” you reveal and bring your eyes back down to meet his gaze while you let your fingers graze the flames that you hold on your candles.

“I have never winced at the touch of candle fire, boiling water has never scolded my skin or my tongue. And never have I once been bothered by hearths or pyres whose flame grows too wild. So,” you roll out and take a seat beside him on the bed. “I always have wondered what it’s like to feel hurt by fire like you were.”

A smirk tugs on your lips and he realizes at this instant as the candlelight shows off your smirk, that this is no dream. You’re actually at his bedside looking at him the same way Aemond looked at him earlier today, like Aegon was nothing, like he wasn’t still king. You're looking at him as if was pathetic and nothing but someone to take pity on; he can see those thoughts playing behind your eyes and on the corner of your lips.

You were sitting, but you now cast a shadow over him that made his cower. The same way he made you feel not long ago when he visited your chambers while Aemond was gone.

But that was your intention, that’s why you’re here. You have the power now, it doesn’t matter if he’s king. You have the power and he knows it, he sees that darkness in your eyes the same way he saw it in Aemond’s eye.

“I would say it’s like drowning. You have that need to fight to survive, but,” you click your tongue and lean towards him, making him swallow back nervously and attempt to scoot away, but to no avail. He can’t move a muscle. “When the fire is eating away at your flesh I can’t imagine you can move all that much. You must be paralyzed, cut away from every message your head sends to your screaming muscles, hoping that your adrenaline can be your salvation, but all it can do is give you the power to cry and scream out your pain. Is that right, Aegon?” You direct the question at him and look at him not with curiosity but with a mocking look.

“Le…”

“Ah-ah,” you click your tongue and drag yourself closer to him to shush him. “Don’t waste your energy. It’s okay.”

You flash him another smile and hold his gaze as you push the melting candles toward his already scarred flesh, making him gasp and start to heave.

“I just want to see,” you mutter. “Maybe hear you whimper just a little to know what it’s like, you know? Live it through someone else.” You chuckle.

“Crazy bitch,” he manages to say and you slowly grin and manage to get the flames close to his skin, to the point the heat stings. Yet before the fire can actually give him a peck you pull the candles away and just keep smiling at him.

“It was a jest,” you giggle and slither your fingers up to play with the flames. “Laugh. You like jests don’t you?”

He wants to curl his lips to a scowl, but his lips just twitch in some feeble attempt.

“Hm. Well, that’s all,” you end his torture and push yourself to your feet.

Before you can walk out though, you put the candle stand down on the bedside table and grab the milk of the poppy.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” you interject and twirl around. “You are going to be an uncle to twins, is that not great? We’re hoping for girls now since we have our boy…” you trail off and lean towards him to bring the milk of the poppy to his lips. “…our heir.”

Aegon lips part to attempt to argue, but you take that as a need for his sedative, so you bring the cup to his lips and help him drink the milk of the poppy. Once the cup is empty you pull away and replace it with the candle stand.

“Goodnight, Aegon. Sweet dreams,” you tease and twirl back around to leave his chambers, but not without continuing to hum your haunting song that you make sure to travel with until you know that the king or his guards will hear you. After you put some distance and your humming doesn’t echo in their ears anymore you return to the safety of your chambers in silence.

After that, you hoped not to run into Aemond, or find him in your chambers. You just don’t want to be bombarded with questions, that’s all.

Nevertheless, luckily Aemond doesn’t join you in your shared quarters until several minutes later, so you’re spared. And since you were donning your nightgown by the time he walked in he didn’t even know you had just returned either, so unknowingly both of your visits to Aegon are unspoken of, you just individually relish in the torment you gave him. Which honestly doesn’t paint you as the most sane couple or people at all, but at least now your hunger for justice is satisfied.

That’s what lets you both actually find a peaceful sleep, that little win.

Little wins are all the rage in times like now, so you cherish them. Even if they’re small and insignificant. Even if they have nothing to do with war and battle and have everything to do with your day-to-day lives, you cherish them. You cherish good mornings too, simple ones.

Happiness is even simple when you’re not taking it for granted, and when you know where to find it, like, waking up and having Aemond lay his head on your belly in an attempt to be closer to the twins, or in Aerion tugging at Aemond’s hair and fighting him to actually copy his father and lay on you instead since he understands more now that he’s 5 months old.

You can find happiness in Aemond’s faint proud smiles as he hears his son try and talk to him. In gentle kisses and sweet compliments he passes you, or something minimal like agreeing on something at the Small Council meetings which in turn overshadows the men around the table. You can even find happiness after the meetings in matters such as names for the babes that still have a ways to go before they’re born.

Does he raise a complaint though? No. He’s not needed at this precise moment so he lets you steal his time.

“If they’re boys, Aemon,” you say right away and make him blink with surprise. “Like his father. Just without the last letter so it’s not confusing.”

The corner of his lips tugs wider as he lets out an amused huff.

“And the second boy's name…well…”

“Maegor?” Aemond tries to end your sentence, but you glare at him and shake your head.

“No!” You chuckle. “No, I am not naming our son Maegor. Do you want the gods to spite us?” You ask the question in a whisper in the fear that the gods will hear you saying such a name.

Aemond snickers and leans forward to press his hand on either side of your lap as you sit on the edge of the table, and he sits in his chair. “You believe that to be true? It’s just talk.”

You scoff and shake your head again to get your point across. “Talk or not, I will not leave it to chance. Not when it comes to our children.”

Aemond hums and you slowly lower your gaze to bring up the name Helaena suggested, one you want. “What about Laenor?”

You feel his stare weighing down on you, but you can’t look him in the eye out of fear of rejection.

“My father was always good to you. We would go fishing together, and he would take you sailing with us…I do not know if you want,” you bring up different cases to try and convince him because you know how Alicent and those of the court viewed your father.

“All right,” Aemond doesn’t take time to think about it, he gives in and you slowly trail your eyes up to meet his gaze with relief and happiness.

“Really?” You query.

Aemond nods and you flash him a joyous smile.

“But,” he interjects and sits back with a lighthearted smile. “What if they’re girls or one of the other?”

You flash him a smirk and lean back on your hands. “Well, we have our first name…”

“Daenys,” you both say at the same time and you nod excitedly and beam at him.

He hums with a smile playing on his lips and you tilt your head to the side to share the other name. “And the second, Naerys. Or Daenerys. You can choose.”

“They’re the same thing,” he mutters and you scoff and lean towards him.

“No! No, they're different. Completely! But you can choose between the two.”

He rolls his eye and quips. “How generous of you.”

You shrug innocently. “I’ll even let you choose between all four if we get a boy and girl, hm? So pick!”

He hums and taps his fingers on the chair's armrest before he takes a deep breath and shares his choice. “Daenerys and Aemon.”

A pang of pain hits your heart and your smile falls, he watches you with a serious look that shows he’s being serious, so you sit up and look at him as if the answer actually hurt you. “What?” You mutter in disbelief. “But, my love.”

He raises an eyebrow and remarks. “You gave me the freedom to choose the name of our children. I chose.” He says and leaves his lips pouted as he waits for your argument.

But he is right…

“Well,” you grumble without hiding your disapproval. “Fine,” you deadpan and look down to fiddle with a gold bead that’s embroidered on your gown.

Aemond tilts his head to try and find your eyes but you keep turning your head further down so you miss the smirk that tugs on his lips as he sees you pout.

“It was jest,” he clarifies as he stifles his laugh, and leans forward to press his fists on the table.

You raise your head and snap your glare at him. “Ha. It was not funny.”

He snickers and you nudge his shoulder. “Daenys has been my top choice since we were kids. You know that.”

He grins and nods. “I remember. You bugged me about it hundreds of times.”

“Exactly,” you press with your eyebrows raised. “So?”

He unfurls his fists and slides his hand on your thigh to rub it with the gentlest touch. “Daenys and Aemon,” he now gives his honest choices.

You nod and can’t help but throw your arms around his neck since he’s already so close, and glance at his lips, but manage not to give into your temptation, instead you smirk and whisper. “Do you think Daenys and Aemon will get into as much trouble as we did?”

He gently slides his hand up your thigh before he swings his arm around your waist and quips. “You got in trouble, not me. I was there to try and get you out of trouble, or danger.”

The corner of your lips spread up and bliss glimmers in your eyes. “Okay, but you did not discourage me.”

He narrows his gaze and counters. “I did, many times. You did not listen.”

You giggle and loll your head to the side, making his eyes follow your lips moving before he flickers his gaze back up.

“Well then Daenys and Aemon will learn to be better at avoiding trouble,” you rebuttal, making him scoff and not hold back anymore. He leans in for the kiss and you let him mold his lips into yours while you wrap your arms around his neck.

As he deepens the kiss he trails his hand away from your waist and agonizingly slowly drifts his hand down your hips, and then down the length of your thigh to hike your skirt up and slither his hand under to now slide his warm palm up your thigh, leaving a blazing trail that makes you press yourself closer to him to the point your chests meet with all the breaths you take.

You want him to touch you where your body aches for him the most, but he instead grabs your hips with both hands and with a swift and fluid motion slides you off the edge of the table to make you straddle his hips.

“Aemond,” you chuckle between heavy breaths, and he responds with a cheeky smirk before closing the small gap between your lips as if it were impossible to live for a second longer without the taste of your lips.

Yet no matter how hot your passion blazes, that is suddenly snuffed out by a knock on the door. Which you should’ve seen coming, you are in the Small Council chambers, but that doesn’t matter to Aemond, he still gets frustrated.

“What?” He seethes.

You can’t help your cocky smirk before you lean in and bite his bottom lip before moving over to sit on his lap to wait and watch who dared cut into your private moment.

When the intruder walks in though you see that it’s Ser Jason.

“Forgive me for interrupting,” he offers his condolences right away with a bow of his head. “I just received news,” he shares and brings his head up to display an almost terrified look. “A riot has started in the city where the Great Sept is, and Queen Helaena and the Dowager Queen are caught within.”

Your heart drops to your stomach and while you digest the news, Aemond basically rips away from his seat to try and go out to save them himself. However, no matter how rageful he is, or his thirst for blood, neither him nor you are allowed to run to their aid.

The smallfolk are angry, your mother and Mysaria’s plan worked. The smallfolk got the message that they were trying to get across and now they want an answer, justice for not getting treated right by the King ruling over them, the King who is supposed to feed them. And they have every right to be upset, to demand an answer for how poorly they’ve all been treated, but to take it out on Helaena? That’s something you can’t accept, that’s something that doesn’t sit right with you.

If only you had known that they planned to go to the city today, and you could’ve come up with some quick excuse to keep them inside. Anything to keep them from entering the wrath of the Smallfolk after they got the food from your mother. But you did not know, and now you can’t do anything to help Helaena but watch from a tall tower as a sea of people rush through the streets. All you’re left to do is wait, and hope that the Kingsguard can do their job, while your mind conjures up violent scenarios in response to your distress and…guilt.

Nevertheless, in response to your helplessness, and the panic that makes you breathe heavily, Astraea surprises you by flying over the tall tower Aemond and you stand on, and flying down, casting a large shadow over the streets of the city as she directs herself to the Great Sept, without as much as you needing to tell her a word.

And since she is large and her purple scales stand out against the sun, you see her swoop down on a building near the Great Sept. Albeit since you can't see what she sees, you miss the fact that she was quick to find Helaena and Alicent. You miss the warning shouts from the people who had caught her flying over in a hurry, but thanks to the calamity no one paid attention to the warnings, no pair of angry eyes caught even a glimpse of the purple dragon until her shadow cast over the crowd trying to tear at Alicent and Helaena.

Even then it's too late because by the time she lands on the edge of a building, Helaena and Alicent have been pushed against, Astraea is quick to react in defense of Helaena; the person your heart is crying over at the moment, the person you hope and pray is okay, and the person you love with all your heart.

There’s no doubt she’s there defending her because even from the tower Aemond and you stand on in the Red Keep, Astraea’s rageful roar is heard. And from where Helaena and Alicent are, her roar rattles the foundations of the buildings, it shakes the pebbles on the ground, and sets fear in the people who were just brave enough to go after the Queen and her mother.

Now those people who ran at the Queen, run away from the dragon ducking her neck and head down to shield her from any incoming danger. When someone ballsy enough tries to take a step close to Helaena, Astraea begins to snarl before she opens her mouth and snaps at them, coming close to actually taking a bite, but not managing to scrape them.

She just wanted to scare them, she wouldn’t actually bite anyone unless provoked by someone. She just has her guard up and is being protective. And she doesn’t lose that fierce need, she continues to bear her teeth until she spots Alicent rushing Helaena to the wheelhouse. After that Astraea hovers above the wheelhouse and doesn't part from them until she sees them go past the Red Keep gates because that’s the only time that you actually find relief.

After that Astraea circles the castle until you’re inside tending to a distressed Helaena, while her mother gets tended to as well, albeit she actually ended up getting cut, Helaena is just shaken up and a bit dirty, that’s all, but you still help her as you swallow back your guilt.

After all, you can’t control the Smallfolk, you can’t control their emotions. You just wish you would have known Alicent wanted to take Helaena into the city. That’s all.

“Do you want to know something?” You ask Helaena.

She hums and you share your thoughts while you wipe away the dirt her face collected in that riot. “I admire you for having twins. You were young too, I can’t imagine it was easy. I don’t know how you did it.”

Helaena’s eyes flicker to you and she looks at you seriously before she interjects bluntly. “I just had them.”

You stop what you’re doing and drop your gaze to look at her with slight disbelief before you snort softly and move behind her to undo her messed-up braids.

“I…will have to go thank Astraea,” Helaena speaks up much to your surprise, since up until now it was you who was trying to make conversation. “She protected me and my mother.”

You smile proudly. “We can go after this, how about that? She should be nestled up by the cove.”

Helaena nods gently, and the door proceeds to open, causing Helaena to ball her hands, and grow stiff after having a very hard time relaxing. Which is why you get ready to kick the intruder out, but you then come to see Aemond striding in.

“What is it? Have the rest of the Kingsguard returned?” You can’t help but ask as you grab the brush from the small table.

“All but one,” he says as he looks down at his sister unable to find that peace once again.

“Did you find out what exactly happened?” You act clueless whilst you start brushing Helaena’s hair. “What started the riot?”

Aemond walks over and chooses to lean against the couch to be able to occasionally meet your gaze when you’re not focusing on what you’re doing.

“It was Rhaenyra,” he says, causing chills to crawl down your spine at the sound of your mother’s name coming out of his mouth out of slight fear he will reveal that he knows the letters you have been sending her— “she sent food in boats which in turn made the people get mad at us. As if we’re the ones holding the blockade.”

You don’t give any other reactions besides comprehension and feigned disbelief, as if this is the first time hearing about your mother’s malicious plans.

“Well,” you sigh and pretend to breathe out a stressed-out breath at the mention of your mother. “We are the crown. We’re supposed to be taking care of them. How would you react if you could not feed your son because the people who are meant to protect you aren’t doing anything to break that blockade or feed them?”

Aemond’s gaze hardens, but you don’t back down, you challenge him and press your point so he can understand where their anger is coming from.

“They’re desperate, angry, and what my mother sent only fueled them to act out in the only way they would be heard,” you argue in their defense, making Aemond drop his head and shake it in disapproval.

“We’re trying,” he snaps and hastily brings his eye up, but you’re focused on brushing Helaena’s long hair so you just feel his burning glare.

“They do not know that,” you rebuttal. “We know that here, but they do not. Look I am not telling you what to do Aemond, I am just trying to make you see why they reacted the way they did.”

He hums and you finally drift your eyes up and watch him lose his gaze on the ground to try and collect all his thoughts on the matter and on what you just told him.

“I’m all done Helaena,” you direct your attention back to her and back away to give her space. “Why don’t you change into something different, finish your tea and when you’re done, or when you want, we can go see Astraea, hm?”

Helaena nods while you walk around her to face her with a gentle smile. “You’re okay now, okay? No one is going to hurt you here.”

Her distant blue eyes meet yours and you see her fear still clinging onto her, so you attempt your best to try and rid her of that agonizing fear. But you’re also careful, you know how she is, you know she doesn’t really like being touched, nor does she tolerate any loud noises. You also know she’s still rattled and a bit paranoid that the chaos will find her in her chambers, so you’re slow as you crouch to not trigger her. You let her know in a whisper that you’re going to grab her hands before you cradle them.

“You’re okay,” you make sure to say in a gentle and caring voice so she can feel assured, so she knows that you do care about her wellbeing.

“I know,” she nods stiffly and turns your hands around to study your palms for a moment before her thumb hovers over the ice burn you carry and reminds you of what you left behind.

“I will only leave until you assure me you’re fine,” you tell her.

She draws in a deep breath while stealing a glance at her brother behind you who is paying close attention to the gentle way you’re caring for her sister. He would say perhaps you’re coddling her too much considering her age, but he also appreciates that you don’t shame her for not being the fighting type. He likes that you’re so doting and sweet with Helaena.

While Helaena herself catches that appreciation in his eye as you hold his attention captive, and wonders how you must feel that he can’t share even an ounce of care for your own siblings. She actually wonders a lot about you when you plague her dreams, she wants to tell you all that she sees about you, you and Aemond, you and…your future, but her words don’t come easy, so she’s left silent and just staring hoping that somehow someone can read what she’s thinking.

She wishes you could see that she is indeed fine, but that doesn’t come easy either with her look still captured with fear, thus she looks back at you and gives you what you asked for. “I’m fine.”

You hesitate just in case she ends up changing her mind, but when she doesn’t follow up with a protest, you draw out a deep breath of your own and stand to your given height to step away from her. “We’ll be in the Red Keep and I’ll be waiting, okay?” You let her know, making her offer you a quick nod that seems like she’s brushing you off more than anything, but you and Aemond still leave and let her be.

And it’s only once the doors of her quarters are closed that you speak on the matter at hand. “What will you do with the Kingsguard?” You ask since Alicent said they escalated what was already happening. Or they gave the people an excuse to get violent.

“Aegon's friends are the ones who triggered the smallfolk to attack when one of them cut off a man’s arm,” he grumbles in frustration. “Which I can’t say surprises me, they have been incompetent since the start, they’ll serve better as dragon fodder, but alas, men of the Night's Watch are here, so I thought of having them banished there.”

“Hm, I think that’s an excellent response to their actions,” you praise his thought. “The Night's Watch is always in need of men, especially now that winter is around the corner.”

He hums and his eye then falls on you. At first, you don’t notice, don’t feel his stare because you’re in your own mind, but as your gaze drifts to the side you catch his stare before he can look away.

Any other time you would have brushed him off, but in contrast to that hard and blazing glare moments ago, now his eye is softer, and his blue eye isn’t clouded by the darkness of his anger.

“What?” You query.

He blinks and looks ahead before he mutters. “You just would have been good at it. Being Queen.”

Out of all the times you have confessed that dream, that desire to someone, the response is always the same. They always just take it as a passing thought, as a forgotten dream you just let them know about. Aemond is different though, he’s the first one to validate that desire, that forgotten dream still very much alive in the depths of your soul.

Is it in response to try and be something special in your mother’s eyes and those who forbid you from having such a dream become a reality? Who knows, but it still lingers there and he grasps onto it, and starts to pull it out of the abyss.

You know you shouldn’t keep dreaming, you should let go of his hand to let that dream fall back into the depths of the abyss where it will be forgotten once again, but…how can you let a hand go when it’s pulling you towards a glorious light?

A part of you wants to be free from the abyss, but as you’re blinded with clarity you think about your mother and your brother, and you can’t fathom ever betraying them like that. Your path is set already, and you can’t let it crumble and destroy what you worked hard to pave. You can’t turn your back on your mother over a dream that’s out of reach, that you had once been okay with letting go of.

You have to let go and stop being so hopelessly foolish, even if the temptation is hard not to cave into.

Thus you take Aemond’s compliment with a graceful smile and add nothing else on the matter even if your heart is swooning.

Thankfully he doesn’t add to the matter so you’re saved from further temptation. Instead, you follow him to the courtyard where Aegon’s Kingsguard friends are pushed to their knees, scared and nervous without a doubt over what fate the Prince regent will bestow upon them.

“Kneel before the Prince Regent Aemond Targaryen!” A guard announces as he and you descend the stairs to the courtyard, side by side. “And his lady wife, the Princess Regent…” he trails on to say your name.

Rather than sticking by Aemond’s side and watching the sentence he will give the Kingsguard though, your eyes go wide with glee as you spot an old, old friend from your time as a ward to Lady Karstark.

“Ser Mattias,” you whisper in disbelief and pick up your skirt to rush over to him and forget about your husband and the trial he’s conducting.

“Princess,” Ser Mattias greets with disbelief as he realizes that it’s really you.

“What a joy it is to see you, and,” you pause and study his all-black attire which differs wildly from the last time you saw him sporting bright white and typical greys and blacks with the sigil of his lady's house. “…All in black.”

Ser Mattias scoffs and tilts his head down to take a look at his own attire as if taking note of what he sports now, and what it means.

“And you,” he redirects and looks back at you to bow his head, making his long, dark locks dip with him. “Princess Regent, and…” he trails off to glance over your shoulder. “Weighed down by shadows.”

You glance at your sworn protectors before you pass Ser Mattias a smile. “It’s good to see you old friend, but I have to ask why you’re all in black now.”

Ser Mattias shifts on his feet and sighs. “After Lord Bennard tried to usurp Lord Cregan, I took the mantle as a brother of the Night's Watch. Perhaps I did serve his lady wife, but I still served their house,” he shakes his head gently. “I could not stand behind the treason, the sully to their name.”

You sigh and look at him with pity. “But Ser it was not your fault, Ser Bennard’s choices were his own. Not yours.”

“It does not matter, Princess, I could not stand for it. Nor did I have a home to return to, thus I joined the Night’s Watch and I’m better because of it,” he explains, letting you fall silent as you come to understand his reasoning, while also starting to wonder about someone after he mentioned his name.

First, though you make sure Aemond is still distracted with the sentencing before you casually bring him up since it’s not out of the ordinary. “An army from the North marches South, and their Lord leads them.”

A faint smile spreads on Ser Mattias' chapped lips and he nods stiffly. “Aye, I have heard. We will cross paths if the Gods let us.”

You nod slowly in comprehension and peek over at Aemond to keep making sure he’s distracted before you bring him up since you know you can trust Ser Mattias. “If you could Ser, pass a message to Lord Stark, for me?”

The man doesn’t react as you thought he would, nor should you have expected him to in truth. He and many others knew Cregan and you were great friends. You’re just overthinking.

“Of course. You and Lord Stark are still friends?” He asks and you nod before you pass him the message before Aemond can interrupt.

“Tell him…I’m okay. I'll be okay, and if the Gods are generous perhaps we’ll join each other on the battlefield.”

Ser Mattias shows he understands with a nod before he confirms his comprehension out loud. “I will give him the message.”

You let out a deep breath and nod your head before you step back and peer over your shoulder, catching at that moment, Aemond’s eye find you before he makes his way over with his hands behind his back, his head high, his back straight, and his chest puffed out as if trying to scare away the old man sworn to chastity.

“My Prince,” Ser Mattias greets and bows his head.

You pull on a smile and wait for Aemond to fall by your side before hooking your arm around his. “My love, this is Ser Mattias, he was Lady Karstark’s sworn protector when I was her ward.”

“Aye,” the man agrees. “I watched the Princess grow up for three years of her life, and grow from disdaining the North to falling in love with it.”

You giggle and Aemond crosses an arm over his chest to grab your hand as if trying to prove something to the man before him.

“She will be able to tell you the dire need of men in the Night's Watch,” Ser Mattias makes sure to take advantage of Aemond’s presence to ask for capable bodies. “Winter is coming and the threats will worsen. So please, any prisoners you may have rotting in your dungeons, send them to us.”

You glance over at Aemond and watch him offer the man a stiff comprehensive nod before he finally breaks his silence. “I will keep it in mind, Ser. Now I’m sure you have a long journey ahead of you, and prisoners who already require your attention.”

You shoot Aemond an annoyed side eye while you slowly slip your arm away from his. Albeit he refuses to let you go, so he discreetly tugs your arm back to keep you interlocked.

“My Prince,” the man bids his farewell with a small bow. “My Princess, it was an honor seeing you again.”

“And you, Ser,” you redirect softly. “Safe travels on your way back to the Wall.”

“Thank you.” He nods and without another word turns to follow his brothers out the gates. Aemond then turns away without letting go of you so you can stick at his side as if you will wander away or get lost on your way back inside the Red Keep.

Does that stop you from peering back at the man already paces away?

No, you still peer over your shoulder not because you long to leave too, not because you will miss the man, but because you know he will see Cregan...

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

“Lord Ormund Hightower makes slow progress.” Lord Lord Jasper shares what he knows. “There is great concern that his host is threatened on two fronts by armies allied with House Beesbury.”

Something that has caught your attention about this faction is that these great armies surely do complain a lot. You don’t remember men fighting for your mother complaining or asking for more assistance for a threat that has not hit them yet.

How annoying.

“However,” the lord continues over the ruckus that comes from the streets below and is actually loud enough that you hear it from the room. “In happier tidings, Prince Daeron’s dragon, Tessarion, has at last taken to wing—“

“Eyes on the horizon!” A distant shout starts to steal your attention.

“Your brother expects to join the fight soon—”

“Dragon!”

It can’t be Astraea, they would not make any commotion for her anymore. And Vhagar wouldn't alarm them either, so is it Sunfyre? Has he returned?

“…and when he does, the Hightower host will be unstoppable,” Lord Jasper tries to talk over the commotion, but that only turns to panic.

“Dragon! Inside! Now!”

Can it be your mother? Or daemon? Both?

Aemond turns his gaze to you and you both speechlessly come to the same conclusion that the panic is caused by an unknown dragon, there isn’t any other explanation for such a commotion, so you both rip away from your chairs and stride out to the balcony, where you see all the chaos first hand.

Like when they threatened Astraea when you first got to the city, now all the guards on the walls collect all their courage and point at a large dragon. One you can’t make out right away, but as it flies toward the city at great speed you instantly recognize the spectacular beast.

“Silverwing,” you announce her presence breathlessly as your mind wanders to who her rider might be. Is it Rhaena?

Last you heard of her she went to the Vale, but she could have gone back to Dragonstone, this might be her…

But why would she come to King's Landing alone?

There doesn’t seem to be any other dragons so it’s safe to assume Silverwing is alone, so why would Rhaena fly here?

Unless…it’s someone else? Who though? You need to know.

Nevertheless, once again Aemond seems to be interlinked with your current running thoughts because without sparing another moment he pushes himself away from the railing and twirls around to storm away.

He doesn’t ask for you to come but you don’t wait for an invitation, or care if he wants you to stay, you follow at his pace and can’t help but wonder who could be mounted on Silverwing. You want to think of anyone, someone you might know, but no one comes to mind, and those who do would not be stupid enough to bring their dragon to King’s Landing for a damn joyride. Because that’s what it seems like it is, a joyride.

Silverwing does not seem to be attacking, nor does she linger over one place. They don’t even land, they just fly, so whoever is on Silverwing must be pretty ballsy, and you need to know who it is, or perhaps protect them from Aemond and Vhagar’s wrath in some discreet way where it seems to Aemond that you’re attacking when you’re only scaring them away so they’re out of his reach.

But you can only do that if Aemond doesn’t forbid you from flying out after against them. You have already talked about this matter and come to a conclusion, but you still expect him to stop you, to tell you to stay put and wait for him to come back with a report.

Albeit he does not, he doesn’t even try to protest in some discreet way. When you finally reach a courtyard he doesn’t stop you from mounting a horse. He lets you ride out with him side by side, and between your curiosity and disbelief, you feel glad that he’s keeping to his word. It only makes your blood pump faster.

Yet nothing beats that rush when you hear your dragon’s threatening cry as she matches your enthusiasm and flies out to meet you without having to be told verbally, without having to go out to meet her like Aemond to Vhagar. As if in sync with each other's desires, Astraea flies past the city walls at the same time your horse sprints out of the city gates, and without having to come to a stop, and without having her land on some empty patch of land, you throw your arm out and stretch your fingers out.

Astraea’s shadow then casts over Aemond and you as she reaches you in a split second, but she doesn’t slow down to wait for you, she keeps at her. speed, seeming like she’s going to fly past you, but then a rope brushes over the tip of your fingers, so you grab onto it and wrap it around your wrist to be pulled off the horse as she continues flying forward; making you look like a sailor swinging across the deck of their ship, or out to danger.

Now, you usually don’t tend to mount Astraea using the rope, you tend to climb her, but in emergencies such as now, you use the rope, and strain all your upper body muscles to scale up the rope as she’s flying at a great speed over green lands.

Once you throw yourself over your leather saddle, Astraea peers back to make sure you’re secured on her back before she lets out an excited screech that matches the excitement you feel pumping to your heart, and then flaps her purple wings to pick up her speed and go faster than she already was without worrying over Vhagar or Aemond. You leave them behind because you know they’ll eventually catch up and pursue the stranger on Silverwing, the dragon that once belonged to Queen Alysanne, and who is mother to your own dragon.

Besides, leaving Aemond and Vhagar behind gives you time to know who rides Silverwing without having to be hostile. However, since Silverwing does have the lead, there's a pretty big gap between Astraea and her as she seems to be heading back to Dragonstone. Not like her having the advantage really matters, Astraea can be fast, especially when she’s excited or agitated, like now she’s as curious and rushed with as much thrilling excitement as you are.

So much so that she flaps her large wings and then dips down with her wings tucked to gain speed, managing after a few flaps to get close enough that you’ll be able to see who Silverwings rider is. You just need them to look down, but it doesn’t seem like they’re aware of you, or Astraea. Which indicates that they must be brand new to dragon riding, or stupidly careless.

Either or you need to know who they are exactly, but your voice won’t be carried out through the rushing wind, Astraea’s can though, so she speaks for you with a rather unthreatening chitter. She’s just loud and harsh enough that her noise will travel fast through the air and hit the ears of Silverwing, and her rider.

And as expected without having to call out a second time, Silverwing tilts her slim silver body to the side, letting you see the back of the rider before they look back and reveal who they are; some middle-aged man, with a plump face that matches his rather plump body, dark greying hair that flies over his shoulders, and a terrified look painted on his pale face.

He also seems to be dressed rather poorly, so does this mean he’s some bastard commoner? Did your mother really become so daring as to trust the Smallfolk to ride dragons for her? Because there’s no way Silverwing went out in search of this man, she hardly flew too far from Dragonstone, she isn’t as adventurous as Seasmoke, and with no rider, there wasn’t a reason to fly out to King's Landing or any city, so that can only mean that this was your mothers doing, but why didn’t she tell you?

Did she know you would be against it? Sure you have a soft spot for the Smallfolk, but to trust them with dragons? You can’t really trust strangers with polluted dragon blood. They can turn on you before you can know it. You can’t trust them, they’re not family.

But she seemed to trust them…so you have to…make sure Vhagar doesn’t touch them.

If only the man knew that you’re no threat, he looks like he’s about to shit himself with how scared he looks over your sudden appearance. That will not bode well for Silverwing. She’ll sense his fear and take you and Astraea as a threat, but there’s no way to make the man understand you won’t hurt them, you’ll just have to make Astraea slow down to put some distance between her and Silverwing.

“<Slow Astraea,>,” you tell your dragon in High Valyrian as you lean forward to caress her neck. “<We're on the same side.>”

Astraea chitters softly and tries to do as you say, making the man’s eyebrows pinch together and then ease as his fear turns to confusion. Yet Silverwing does not seem to go through the same emotions, because from one second to another she whips her tail down and smacks Astraea across the face.

“<Astraea!>” You call out in horror and watch her squirm her head out of pain before her brown eyes snap up and she lets out a pissed roar. “<Calm down!>” You try to ease her quick risen anger.

However, a deep guttural roar rips through the cloud bank behind you in response to Astraea’s rageful roar, and it seems that Vhagar gives fuel to Astraea’s anger because she then does exactly as you wanted her to do before, she slows down and hides from Silverwing in the cloud bank, causing the man to think you and your dragon stopped the chase because you’re out of sight.

Alas, that’s what Astraea wanted Silverwing and the rider to think. She wants them to lower their guard and waits for them to descend from greater heights to be just low enough that they’re close to the body of water you fly over.

You know she’s up to something, you can hear her groaning, and see her gaze pierced ahead and then fall, but rather than stopping her, you let her give in to her anger so you can scare away the rider and Silverwing because as you pay attention, you hear Vhagar. You see her in the distance and you know Aemond won’t hesitate to attack. Thus you let Astraea act out.

You actually let a smirk play on your lips, you relish in the adrenaline rushing through your veins as you think of what Astraea has planned. Which will give this new rider the wrong idea, but that’s what you need at the moment, you can’t blow your cover, and…a part of you doesn’t care that he gets the wrong idea about you. You…salivate over the thought of having him be scared of you.

It’s why with that mischievous longing in your heart, you welcome Astraea’s charge towards the water as you remain undetected. When you approach the water's surface you duck your head and draw in a deep breath to hold it in as your dragon dives in the cold water. And considering she’s more than fond of these antics when you’re riding her, you don’t show fear or panic, you actually tear your eyes open and find awe as you see all the wonders that live in the water.

They’re simple wonders like fish, simple deep and blue waters, and common undersea plants, but as if it’s the first time taking it all in you’re completely captivated by it all, but not forgetful of your current dire situation. You prepare for Astraea to resurface by closing your eyes and ducking your head again. Once your drenched body is smacked by the cold rushing breeze, you wipe the water off your eyes before you open them and then sit up, coming to see at that moment, as your eyes connect the shadow over you to its owner, that Astraea is now directly below Silverwing, and the silver dragon is none the wiser.

Silverwing did not hear Astraea dive in the water, nor does she catch her and you flying out and torpedoing toward her. Her rider is in the same affair, only Aemond and Vhagar see what you’re doing from a distance, and you know for a fact that neither will give you away. A proud and malicious smirk actually spreads on Aemond’s face, easing the frustration that has him all stiff. And that pride only heightens and mixes with awe as he catches how Astraea opens her mouth to get ready for the attack as she gets near the silver dragon.

Albeit just before she can chomp down on Silverwing, the silver dragon finally catches Astraea and is able to swerve the attack, making Astraea bite air.

“Damn,” you hiss under your breath and tug the handles away to steer Astraea away, but Silverwing is rightfully pissed. She flies head first toward Astraea before she tilts her body back to hook her claws on the Astraea.

However, before your dragon is gashed, she flips her body swiftly to be on her back and have you be upside down for a second before she flips to her other side and puts some distance between her and Silverwing.

“<Calm down now Astraea. That should be enough,” you tell your dragon as you pat her neck. “You did good girl. Leave her be now.>”

Astraea roars out at Silverwing, and the silver dragon responds with a louder and higher-pitched roar, but neither dragon goes for another attack. Astraea listens to you and lets Silverwing gain the advantage. The rider steals paranoid glances at you, but you don’t attempt to share any reassuring looks so he knows he’ll be fine, you feed his fear by passing him a malicious look that is the last thing he sees before he finally gains a good distance from you and your raging dragon.

After that, since you’re done with your charged pursuit you just follow him the rest of the way to Dragonstone since Aemond and Vhagar are still on Silverwing’s trail. You get so close to home in fact, that Astraea has to swerve to one side to avoid flying over land, in doing so letting you see the welcoming and relieving sight of your mother.

Your mother is there on the ground, and not alone either, she’s guarded by Syrax, and the great Bronze Fury, Vermithor, he’s there too, which is unbelievable really, but you can only give your attention to your mother who is struck with surprise as she sees you passing by. While you come to realize at the same time she does that you’re just out of reach, but still far from one another and not able to touch. The only thing you can do is pass her a prideful look for her achievement because regardless of your distrust and disapproval of this new plan, you’re still proud that she got to achieve such a feat in not only gaining a rider for Silverwing, but Vermithor too it seems! Proving how capable she is not only as a ruler but a warrior too.

You’re proud of that and you make sure she sees it with your smile not only on your lips but dancing in your eyes too.

Yet your pride and bliss are fleeting, taking your adrenaline with it when you fly over the shore and see Seasmoke with a rider. Which shouldn’t be surprising as it is, your father is gone and Seasmoke is free to bond with anyone. It was going to happen eventually, but…he was your father's dragon, he was a part of your father once and your heart always remembers your father every time you look at Seasmoke. Your heart aches every time you see the silver-grey dragon because you think of your beloved father.

Now when you look at Seasmoke you’ll see a new rider and the cruel reminder that your father won’t ever come back. He’s gone forever, and Seasmoke will now be someone else’s. He’ll be a part of someone new, someone…

Wait…

You blink and as the cloud of grief passes you come to recognize the man on Seasmoke; it’s Addam! Addam of Hull?!

But…but how?!

Who…

Oh…

Oh!

It’s not beyond the realm of possibilities, the realization that slams into you. There are other possibilities of course, but why else would your grandfather pester you and bother himself to introduce you to Addam’s brother Alyn?

You thought it was weird at that moment. Why would you care who that man is, and why would your grandfather put so much trust in a man when it came to sending him to King's Landing to check on you last year?

It’s because…Addam and Alyn, are his offspring. Potentially, but very likely. It explains why Addam is on Seasmoke!

Damn, now how can you assure yourself that it’s actually fact and not a wild assumption? Ask your grandfather? Yeah right, like he would ever confess to it. And it’s doubtful anyone else knows if it’s true.

Did your grandmother know?

Who knows.

Regardless, you want to know now, and you need to tell Aemond about Seasmoke too when you get home. It doesn’t seem like he noticed Addam and Seasmoke from where he was and because he turned away before he could get a closer look.

However, you don’t follow him home, Aemond leads you and Astraea to an elevated green mountain near the town Sharp Point rather than returning home right away, which…can’t be good. If he wanted time alone he would find it at home, not near this town.

Yet here he is and he’s pissed. You can see his face contorted with anger, his jaw clenched, and his gaze distant the moment you dismount your dragons.

“You saw it?” Is the first thing he says as you make your way to each other. “The dragons and their common born riders.”

You try to figure out his thought process, but there’s also so much in your mind, so your curiosity is second place to everything else.

“I saw it, and I saw Seasmoke too,” you share, making him grimace and turn his head away to simmer in his growing anger.

“But,” you add and step closer to him. “That’s not the most important fact. I know his rider.”

Aemond’s gaze immediately returns to you and his gaze narrows while his eye digs itself deep inside you to try and figure out what you mean by that.

“He has a brother that my grandfather introduced me to when we went to Driftmark,” you continue to heighten his jealousy and curiosity. “I thought it was weird that he would bother himself to introduce us, and then he revealed that he sent that brother to our engagement tourney, and now I think he did all this because…they might be…his bastards?” You say more like a question as if Aemond would know the truth.

“It explains why Addam can ride Seasmoke,” you explain what is clear, but then begin to drift back to confusion and cluelessness. “But I do not know, I can’t be sure. And it’s not like I can just ask my grandfather.”

Aemond swallows thickly and turns away to get lost in thought. You let your mind wander too, but as you do you also remember where you are, and what you think Aemond might do to this town in response to his anger for your mother’s achievements.

“Do you realize what this means? This dragonrider?” Aemond makes his silence short and turns to face you, making you slowly turn to face his gaze now not tense with jealousy, but softened with pity.

“If he is Lord Corlys’ bastard then he and the brother might be legitimized, and one of them may be turned heir of Driftmark and Lord of the Tides,” he shares what you did not even realize, you were so stuck on the fact that he might be your grandfather's bastard that you did not see the bigger picture. And now that you’re seeing it in its totality, that worry you had for this town is completely diminished.

“But,” you argue effortlessly as if weakened by the cruel but real assumption. “He said he would make Aerion his heir.”

Aemond sighs deeply and closes the gap between you to grab your arms and hold your gaze with your breaths brushing over each other's faces, and the warmth that radiates off him blanketing your still damped body.

“But now his bastards are fighting wars and bonding with dragons, they’re older, don’t you think he’ll favor him over our son?” He presses and only makes a sadness puncture your heart, and the need to know the truth that much more significant. After all, why wouldn’t you expect something else to be taken from you?

They took your role as heir, and now they might take your son's role as heir of Driftmark.

“Do you…” you trail off and drop your head to try and find an answer, to try and contradict that new fear Aemond planted in your mind. “Do you think he would?” You ask with a great sadness dulling your eyes while also making them gleam so brightly with the tears that cloud them.

“Why wouldn’t he? They already took your role as heir,” he says in a softer tone now as he reaches over to grab your face, forbidding you from feeling alone as your heart is once again troubled with sorrow, disbelief, and…growing anger.

Anger you can’t exactly feed without knowing if it’s true though. You need to know if Addam and Alyn are really his bastards before you can let this anger take root.

You need to know.

“I need to talk to someone,” you tell Aemond with determination. “I need to know if it’s true or not, and I know my grandfather would never say, so I need to go ask someone who will know.”

Aemond blinks and his eyebrows knit together. At first, he assumes you’ll ask one of the Hull boys, but you then tell him otherwise.

“I need to go ask the Red Priestess, Kinvara, she’ll know.”

Aemond parts his lips to rebuttal but you cup his hands and assure his worry. “I’ll be okay. I trust her. She’ll tell me the truth.”

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- something wicked this way comes ;(;

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips @strangersunghoon @just-pure-trash @ethereal-athalia @missyviolet123 @callsignwidow @xunquish-blog @tabathastan

[manga-meow]

[justlarkin]

"Who knows if we're real or not, teehee" 🤭 I think the idea of Breke sneaking in and wearing the corpses of MC's fallen foes to give them a motivational speech while they're in a state of delirium is funnier than MC just hallucinating.

[hinashyna]

Yugo: "Master Joris.. we need to talk..NOW!! 😠"

[every-sebastian-michaelis]

[howtodrawyourdragon]

Most of these books (so far) can also be summed up with “Toothless, yes!” followed up with “Toothless, no!”

[dorokora]

Is LW finally going to show what the exiles look like??!! Because one of them look like a female holding a scythe (Eurynome??) and the other is a angel (Shaytan??)

MC will have to confront their past selves, the Exiles

Maybe this is MC’s 5* artwork with the exiles on it

[erinwantstowrite]

CHAT. i am at

and i'm looking at my outline. we are NOT getting Peter backstory this chapter like I wanted but that just means 1) one chapter longer and 2) chapter 17 is gonna be mostly Peter talking about his life with Dick and vice versa (21 questions round 2)

[heyahs]

does anyone have the colored version of this image? i know it doesn't exist originally, but i've seen one that a fan colored, i really need it but i haven't found it on the web. i'd really appreciate it if someone could help me!

[everyakipanel]

Chapter 16: First Taste

[damn-stark]

Chapter 16 Intertwined, sewn together

Final chapter of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- We’re on the last chapter!! 😩 I am moving forward past episode 7 using GAME CONTENT SO BEWARE!!

Warning- Fluff, ANGST, swearing, talks of weapons, death and blood, MAJOR SPOILERS for season 2 AND GAME, Remember this is a rewrite not an AU, so the major stuff that happens in the show will happen here :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader (platonic of course :), OC x Fem!reader

Episode- I am using content from the game

————

*14 YEARS AGO*

Here you are, covered in blood, and sitting in the living room of your childhood home with your head hanging low and your knees pressed to your chest.

You then see him walking in so you sit upright, expecting to get in trouble for running off on your own and being found in a room littered with clickers you killed. You meet your uncle's glowering gaze and wait for him to unleash his anger with sharp words, but it’s your 16th birthday, you’re in your childhood home, and you’re looking at him with this…look…so tender and so dull, and so close to breaking that he can't muster of a single sharp word.

Instead, he looks for the sun but finds you looking at him like you would look at your dad when the world was sane; like he is life itself, and in doing so, at that moment, he knows that you’re more intertwined than he thought.

He never let himself admit it. You were never his. You were always Joel’s most precious possession, but now, as you look at him like he’s life itself, you are his. He is a father and you are his daughter, and he knows that what you need is not sharp words, but comfort.

“You came,” you say in a broken whisper and watch him sit beside you.

“Of course,” he retorts right away.

“I’m worth,” your voice breaks and you look down at a picture of you, Sarah, and your dad. “I’m worth something aren’t I?” You ask and once again look at him with the same look as before.

“‘Course,” your uncle quickly reassures you. “You are worth…more than…life,” he trails off in a whisper that you barely hear, but you catch it nonetheless and nod in comprehension.

“I’m…good, aren’t I? I was good wasn’t I? I-I tried. I really did.”

“What do you mean?” He probes.

You wipe your tears away and explain the reasoning behind your questions. “Why did he leave? Why didn’t he come with us? With me?”

Your uncle lets out a deep breath and puts his head back against the couch, but keeps his eyes on you. “I don’t know,” he says. “Sarah’s death. All this…it changed him.”

You nod slowly and press the picture against your chest. “I’ll show him,” you say confidently with tears running down your cheeks. “I’ll show him I don’t need him to survive. I’ll live long. I’ll live a long and good life. Even through all this.”

Your uncle smiles at you with admiration as you look back at the picture with sparks of determination twinkling in your eyes that let him see it.

Maybe because this new dream is all he wants for you, but he sees your future here and there, that long and good life. And he will do anything to make sure you’ll have it.

——

*NOW. SEATTLE*

“Sunny,” Tommy whispers as he sees you laying limply on the ground with blood spilling out from your wound, leading him to think the worst, but hoping he’s not right. Thus, he calls out in another whisper.

“Baby…” he trails off and keeps watching you, hoping you’ll move, but you remain flat on the ground.

“Stop hiding!” Abby sneers, breaking him from his stupor and reminding him where he is, so he looks up and catches Abby pointing her gun at the edge of the desk where Ellie is hiding again thanks to you. She then quickly hits the trigger, but carves a hole on the edge of the dark, closing in on Ellie, but not hitting her, so she starts moving away from him in search of Ellie.

However, this time before she can shoot again, with a shot of adrenaline caused by rage as he looks at the woman who’s brought him nothing but misery, Tommy forces himself on his feet even if his ribs burn, and catches Abby off guard by grabbing her gun and trying to yank it away.

Albeit Abby grips onto the gun with a vice-like grip and accidentally shoots at the air a couple of times as she challenges Tommy for full control of her gun.

Ellie catches the power struggle so she quickly slips away to the auditorium whilst the young bald boy that came with Abby interferes.

“Let her go!” The boy exclaims, and before Tommy knows it, an arrow goes through his thigh, making him yelp and falter, and letting Abby swing her body around to throw Tommy three hard and sharp punches across his face and one on his throat.

Overcome with pain and the inability to catch a breath, Tommy lets go of the gun and falls on his knees, letting Abby and the bald boy chase after Ellie, leaving behind Tommy, Jesse’s lifeless body, and you.

And as much Tommy did care for Jesse, the young man doesn’t even cross his mind, he wants to go after Ellie to help her, but with the arrow pierced in his leg, and his ribs broken or bruised, he’s left invalid. He’s actually succumbed to the thought that he’s going to die, so there’s nothing he can do for Ellie as much as he wants to. You on the other hand.

Once he’s able to catch his breath again, even through his writhing pain, he musters the strength to clutch the ground and drag his body toward you ready to accept death.

However, once he manages to reach you, he realizes that your chest is not still, it’s rising and falling. You’re alive. The bullet just grazed you, leaving your face pampered in blood and you in such a terrifying death-like state, but you’re alive.

You’re alive.

“Oh thank god,” Tommy cries as he lets his forehead fall on yours as he’s overcome with relief.

There have been many close calls. Many times where he feared for your life, but no moment was more terrifying and real than this moment because, for a few minutes, he thought you were really dead. He had already felt the world come crumbling down and accepted death if that’s what fate wanted from him, but your heart is beating, and you’re breathing, so his world is whole again and he forsakes death as he finds meaning in the world again.

If only he could heal you, but he’s still writhing in pain and invalid. He can’t do anything but lay helplessly beside you and wait.

——

*1 YEAR LATER. JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING*

“There. Just there. Put the flowers there.”

Theo rests the flowers next to the mug filled with hot plain black coffee, and just over a patch of dirt where the grass is thinner than the rest because not long ago you buried your dad's watch where it belongs. With him.

“Me,” Theo pats his chest and then points to the hot mug of coffee, making you chuckle.

“Here’s your juice,” you let him know and grab the cup off the ground to pass it over to him.

“Why don’t you tell Grandpa what we’re going to have for breakfast today, hm?” You suggest, making the little boy purse his lips and tap his chin as he thinks for a moment before he blurts.

“Pancakes!” Theo exclaims. “Juice!”

You smile and Apollo lies on his side. “Is that all? How about scrambled eggs? Or fruit?”

Theo grabs his juice and takes a long drink before he leans toward his dad. “No. Juice.”

Apollo scoffs with amusement. “Well then, but don't reach for my fruit when you want some. You stick with your juice.”

Theo clinks his dad's cup of juice and then lets his cup go to grab Apollo’s since he had only taken a sip and Theo's cup wasn’t as full anymore.

“Oh wow,” Apollo mumbles as you giggle. “What about your mama, are you gonna let her have some or are you gonna drink it all yourself.”

Theo exhales deeply before he pushes himself up and approaches you to offer you some. “Juice?”

You grin at your son and take his cup. “Oh well if you’re offerin’.” You say and finish his drink, making his eyes widen and his jaw slowly drop.

“No!” He whines and falls to the ground. “No!”

You sigh and cup his cheek, making him peek over at you and pout.

“Sorry.” You tease with a smile. “Your sibling was thirsty. They told me to drink all of your juice! They said, "Drink all of Teddy’s juice!” You mock in a faux baby voice before you pull your hand away to then surprise him by tickling his tummy.

Theo loses all of his anger and giggles at the action. When you pull your hand away he then crawls to you to try and tickle you, but all he does is wipe his fingers on your belly.

Not like it matters though because you still laugh for him. Which only makes him laugh harder until he hears your stomach growl and stops with horror as he thinks that it’s the five-month-old baby in your belly.

“Oh no. It wants you next.” You tease and quickly throw your arms around him to pull him toward you to press multiple kisses on his cheek to make him believe you’re going to eat him and make him fall into a fit of laughter.

When you pull away and he slowly comes to a stop you interject. “Why don’t you say goodbye to Grandpa and tell him you’ll come back soon?”

Theo turns towards your dad's tombstone and waves. “Bye, Pa!”

You smile and press a tender kiss on his cheek before you let him go to approach your dad's tombstone and pour the coffee out from his mug on the same spot on the ground as always. You then stay crouched in front of the tombstone and whisper. “Bye, Daddy I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You then kiss the top of your fingers and press it on the surface of his tombstone before you get up and join Apollo and Theo by the horses.

“Why don’t you invite your dad over for breakfast?” You tell Apollo as you ascend your horse. “We’re gonna pass by anyway on our way home.”

“Oh, yeah,” Apollo says with a faint smile. “That’d be nice. You might as well invite your uncle and his family over then. We always tend to make more pancakes than we need anyway. I think it’ll be nice. Spontaneous, but nice.”

You nod in agreement. “It’s still early too,” you add. “So I think we should catch them before they eat. Good idea, my love.”

He grins cheekily and shrugs. “Why, thanks babe. It came to me. Just now. Thanks to you actually, so, great idea.”

You flash him a smirk. “Thanks.”

You both share one more smile before you then move on and return to the safety of the town, crossing with no trouble, just gaining more hunger.

You’ll have to invite everyone quickly so you can go home and start breakfast as soon as possible. This new baby has made you eat more and think you'll starve if you're not eating often. You didn't have this problem when you were expecting Theo, the experience with him was different, kinder in a sense, so you try to quickly put the horses away.

When you eventually make it outside you expect to meet up with Apollo and Theo waiting for you, but instead, you’re welcomed with a surprising visitor.

“Ellie!” You exclaim, grabbing her attention before you run over to her with a beaming grin and searching eyes.

Albeit you don’t spot who you’re looking for so your smile falters. “Where’s Dina and the baby?” You ask, making Ellie hesitate to answer, so you look back at her and see that her gaze is lost on the blind eye and the curved scar on the left side of your face that the bullet graze left last year in Seattle. A parting gift if you may.

Ellie always seems to get lost on the scars on your face. Every time without a fault you catch her glancing at them when she visits. At first, it would annoy you mostly because you hated the curved scar and the fact that you couldn’t see out of one eye, but after a while. When you at last got used to your scars, you realized that Ellie only stared out of guilt.

She should realise though that she didn’t force you to try and defend her. You choose to do it, so there’s nothing she should be guilty about. You’ve tried to make her understand multiple times already, but doesn’t seem to get it.

“Ellie,” you press and snap her out of her stupor. “Did Dina and JJ come? Where are they?”

Ellie draws out a small breath before she points towards the gate. “They stayed home…it’s just me,” she says and averts her eyes right away. “I just ran into Apollo and Teddy. Apollo said to tell you that you could head home and get started on breakfast. He’ll take care of the other things.”

You hum and nod in comprehension. “Okay, great, I'm starving. I’m assuming you’re coming over then? We’re makin’ pancakes.”

Ellie nods faintly as she only spares you a glance before she starts following you as you lead the way home, wondering why she came alone when she always travels in a group with Dina and her son, JJ. They’ve been inseparable since Dina had the baby. Wherever one is the other one is not far behind, like a shadow. Which is why it’s odd that Ellie came alone especially since she and Dina live outside of Jackson now. They’re more prone to traveling to town together.

“How come you’re here alone?” You can’t help but wonder, making Ellie finally glance at you for longer than a second.

“Why? Am I not enough for you anymore?”

You scoff. “You are, but it's just odd to see you without Dina and the baby now.”

Ellie laughs breathlessly as if strained and offers you a response. “Dina…didn’t feel like coming. That’s all, so you’re stuck with just me.”

You nudge her. “Well, I don’t mind.”

Ellie offers you a faint smile which also looks strained, so rather than feeling relieved that your curiosity was answered, you’re left more curious and worried.

“How’s JJ?” You ask with a smile.

“Good,” she says and nods. “Yeah, he’s good. Only getting bigger.”

“Good. That’s how it should be.”

You look at her with a smile and a need to share about your own growing bundle of joy, but you hold back on it for now in hopes she’ll be in better spirits later on.

Until then you make it home without much conversation. Ellie makes it hard with her look of doom and gloom. It makes you wonder if she and Dina got into a fight.

What other reason would have her here with such a long frown on her face and a completely distant look that makes her look like she’s miles away rather than next to you.

You almost don’t ask if something's up. You want to let her bring it up because you know she will, but you can’t help it. You get home and while you’re starting breakfast it’s too quiet and tense. You have to probe.

“Okay, what’s up? What’s wrong with you? Why are you here?”

Ellie looks offended. “Do I have to have a reason to come visit alone?”

You shake your head and point the spatula at her. “No, but ever since I saw you I've noticed you carrying this face that’s telling me something’s wrong, so speak before people get here.”

Ellie holds your gaze for a moment before she sighs as she realizes you have her cornered. There’s no more avoiding the subject. Thus she takes just a couple of seconds to herself to exhale deeply and fiddle with her fingers before she parts her lips to speak what’s gnawing at her. “I found Abby.”

You scoff in disbelief and look at her as if she’s joking. “What?” You quip with a smile.

Ellie nods stiffly. “For a couple of months now I've been secretly looking for Abby and finally after months, I know where she is. She’s in California.”

Your amusement completely disappears and you look at her with a deadpanned face, making Ellie that more nervous.

“No, that’s impossible. It could be anyone,” you argue, but Ellie quickly shakes her head and finally there’s a spirit in her that’s been missing since you came across her.

“But it’s not. It’s Abby. She was traveling with a skinny boy with scars on his face. It’s her. She’s in California and I mapped it out. Everything is already planned and packed. If we leave today we can catch up to her in a couple of weeks. It’ll just be us and Tommy.”

“No,” you mutter, but she doesn’t catch your response.

“We could get there even quicker and catch her completely off guard and it’s not like she has a city to hide in. She’s vulnerable. This is our chance—”

“I said no,” you sneer, making her cut off her excited rambling as she hears the tone of your voice.

“What?” She quips as she looks at you confused. “What do you mean no? She escaped last time—”

“No, we barely escaped with our lives last year,” you blurt and turn the stove off in a fury to put all your attention on her. “I lost my ability to see out of one eye. My uncle struggles to walk, Dina got shot in the shoulder and almost got her throat sliced, and you almost died on multiple occasions while Jesse wasn’t so lucky. So no Ellie.”

She shakes her head in disbelief while also looking at you like you offended her. “So it’s that simple huh? Let a year pass by and you forget what she did to your dad?! To Jesse?!”

You shake your head. “No you don’t get to bring up Jesse because this is not who it’s about and you know that, so leave him out of it. This is about you not being able to let revenge go. Let it go, Ellie. You killed Nora, Owen, and Mel. You said you could let Abby go, so please,” you say softer now as you’re begging her. “Please let this go. You’re alive. You have a family. Enjoy your life. Please, you deserve it.”

“And Joel deserved to live just like Abby deserves to die. I won’t get to enjoy my life until I see her dead. If you don’t care, I do and we will do this without you.” She spats, expecting you to be in distress, but you hold her gaze with tears welling in your eyes and determination burning within.

“No.” You spat and shake your head. “You will do this alone. My uncle will not be going with you. He is not risking his life and neither am I, and I assume that’s why Dina is not here either.” You say and swallow thickly as she bats her eyes in disbelief.

“I went to Seattle to help you,” you continue. “I will not go after you to California and I mean that, so don’t be expectin’ anyone to surprise you. If you do this. You do this alone.”

Tears well in Ellie’s eyes and she backs up and nods slowly comprehension. Your heart tears in two, but you mean every word and not only because you’re pregnant, but because you are choosing to be selfish. You’re moving on and you don’t want to die.

“I’m not stopping you,” you add with a quiver in your voice. “If you want to leave, leave, but just tell me this. Is that what he would want?”

Ellie swallows thickly and stands still for a moment before she nods stiffly. “It’s what he deserves…don’t worry though. I don’t need you. I didn’t have you before. I can do just fine without you now.”

Tears slip out of your eyes and you whisper. “There will always be a place in my house for you, so after your revenge has come to an end and you make your way back home…I’ll be here.”

Ellie scoffs and shoves past you to stomp over to her backpack by the entrance. You follow her to the door and tell her one last thing. “I love you, Ellie. Remember that.”

Ellie doesn’t stop, she puts on her backpack and storms away, leaving you stranded at the entrance of your house with tears streaming down your face and a broken heart.

——

*LATER*

“Okay, he also suggested Orpheus,” Apollo shares as he has his ear pressed against your belly. “He was supposedly a legendary musician and poet who could charm both humans and animals with his music.”

You scoff softly and shake your head. “I am not naming my son Orpheus. It’s too complicated. They’ll laugh at him.”

“Yeah, okay then what about Phoebus? Which means bright or pure and it's a name used to refer to the god Apollo.”

You smile faintly and nod. “That’s a lot better,” you whisper in such a breathless way that it catches Apollo’s attention and makes him change the subject.

“I’m sure Ellie will make it.”

You nod. “That’s what I’m hoping for, but I just don’t get why she had to leave. I should be asking why she can’t move on, but I know grief just like I know how it feels like to be abandoned…And even so, seeing her leave hurt just as much as it did when my dad left…” you trail off and Apollo sits up and looks at you with a tender and apologetic look.

“You tried,” Apollo offers consolation. “That’s the best thing you could do. You can’t help her if she doesn’t want to be helped,” he says and cups your cheek to caress your face before he presses a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“She’ll come back. He did,” he assures you, making you smile and nod in comprehension before you touch your belly and add to the grim conversation.

“I’ll have to tell my uncle about Ellie leaving. He’ll probably be upset, but what can he do? He’ll get himself killed with his injured leg slowing him down.”

Apollo nods. “He’ll have to understand this is something Ellie has to do alone,” he says which gets you quite annoyed, but he’s also right.

Nevertheless, a knock raps on the door and Apollo is quick to go answer it, leaving you to be consumed by thoughts of Ellie. There’s no last-minute debate about going, you’re just worried about her life.

Are you doomed to repeat the past and now worry about her just like you worried about your dad?

It seems so…

Alas, you don’t get to worry for too long because the sight of your uncle Tommy trailing behind Dina with her son JJ, surprises you.

“Dina?” You ask with a faint smile as you get off the couch. “Uncle Tommy?”

Said man offers you a strained smile and Dina gives you a tightlipped smile before she approaches you to greet you with a brief embrace before she grabs your arm and grins as she pulls back to look down at your belly hidden behind your baggy sweater.

“How far along?” She asks with a small glint in her eyes.

“5 months,” you let her know. “We were gonna tell ya, I swear. We were just waitin’ for it to reach five months.”

Dina chuckles. “You’re good. I should’ve noticed.”

You shrug. “You’re a busy mom. Maybe next time.” You say and wink at her before you take her baby from her arms to greet him too.

“Hello, little cowboy. You’re gettin’ so big, and lookin’ so much like your dad,” you tell the baby who has no idea what you’re saying. He just enjoys being carried.

“Tea? Cookies?” Apollo offers your guests as they remain standing up. “A seat? I’m sorry we don’t have anything ready.”

“It’s okay,” Dina assures him. “I don’t want anything.”

Your uncle nods after her and adds on. “Yeah, I’m okay too. I'm sorry we dropped in on ya at night. I just needed to come and tell yall somethin’.”

“And I was just visiting him so we came together,” Dina continues after your uncle, letting you immediately assume what this is about.

“Okay,” you roll out and take a seat with JJ in your arms. “Sit then. Please.”

Apollo returns to his spot next to you while both of your guests take a seat across from you, bringing a thick tension into the room. One that neither of them dares to break right away, so you cross that threshold with your assumption.

“Is this about Ellie?”

Dina drops her gaze and your uncle Tommy looks at you slightly surprised.

“She came before breakfast,” you share and make your uncle confused. “Is this what this is about?”

Dina nods and her voice breaks. “Yes. She left at dawn.”

You sigh deeply and your uncle interjects. “She came and you didn’t tell me?” He directs at you, making you rebuttal swiftly.

“Yes. I didn't tell you because you would've just done something stupid and you can't afford doing something stupid. Not with your leg being the way it is.”

Your uncle is caught by surprise, but he can’t deny that you're right so he just nods stiffly as he takes that jab.

“Besides, I didn't want you to go,” you say bluntly. “I couldn't stop her, but I could stop you.”

Your uncle holds your gaze with soft disbelief and you continue trying to explain the reason behind your secrecy.

“We almost lost our lives last time. I don’t want to go through that again and risk losing you. It’s selfish but I’ve lost too much. Besides, Benji and Maria don’t deserve that either. If Ellie wants to take this trip…she has to do it alone. We can’t help her anymore.”

Your uncle draws out a deep breath and adds quietly, “But he would still fight for her. We have to do the same.”

Your breathing staggers but you don’t hesitate. “No. Not this time. Not us. Not anymore. This is her fight. Not ours.”

Your uncle gulps but doesn’t say anything in return. He doesn’t get up abruptly. He just sits there thinking, so you move on and part your lips to offer Dina some consolation and advice, but she interjects first.

“I get that you don’t want to risk your lives for Abby. I don’t either, but you have to try and get her back,” she commands. “She’ll listen to you. Please go get her back,” Dina pleads with her eyes glossy and her fierce command faltering.

“You’re pregnant,” she adds. “But he can go. He has to.”

You swallow thickly and you unshamefully shake your head. “I’m sorry, Dina, but no. My uncle has a hard time walkin’ and I only have one working eye. We went after her to Seattle, but this is one of those trips that we have to be selfish about, remember?”

Dina looks at you and your uncle distraught and in disbelief and as much as she wants to forget what you told her last year. Those words have stuck to her and it’s what kept her from going with Ellie. It’s what keeps her from fighting back.

“I know how you must feel,” you offer her words of comfort. “And I just want to say you did nothing wrong. She still loves you, I know that, and I know that it’s not easy knowing she left, but we can’t help them if they don’t want to be helped. We have to let time mend her broken heart. She’ll find herself again.”

Your uncle nods in agreement and pats her arm as she starts to cry.

“Why don’t you and JJ stay,” Apollo offers the crying girl. “It’s already dark and it’ll do you good to be surrounded by people instead of being all alone so far away.”

With the hope that you’d offer just that, Dina accepts your husband's offer. “Okay,” she mutters. “Thank you.”

You offer her a faint and pitiful smile before you catch your uncle standing from his chair.

“Ima head home now, okay? Goodnight Dina. Goodnight Apollo.” He offers them his goodbye, making you hand the baby to Apollo to be able to see your uncle out.

“I am sorry for not telling you that she came,” you tell him as you walk with him to the door. “And making that decision for you, but we both know when it’s not something is not worth our lives. I gave her a choice and she made it. We have to wait now for her to come back.”

Your uncle keeps his head down before he confesses to you. “Maria and Benji said that the next time I left, it had to be with them and as much as I want my son to be exposed to the world, you suffered so much on the road. I want him to know better…besides, had she come to me, I wouldn't have wanted you to go either.”

You scoff and quip. “What a pair huh?”

You stop by the door and before he opens it he looks back. “She’ll be okay. He was, and everything she knows about survivin’ comes from him, so be assured that she will make it back.”

You look at him feeling reassured and nod in comprehension as if his words were a guarantee.

“You and little Jolene have a good night now,” he says sweetly as he leans in to caress your belly and then press a kiss on your cheek.

“Goodnight Uncle Tommy,” you say back and give his cheek a little peck before you caress his cheek and then pull away.

Your uncle proceeds to open the front door and before he walks out, he adds some last words of comfort. “She’ll be okay. She’s a survivor.”

You draw in a deep breath and nod along. “Yeah. She is,” You agree and watch him walk out before you close the door behind him and stay by the door to whisper to yourself about the same matter.

“She’s a survivor,” you repeat to yourself and leave it at that. There’s no changing your mind. There’s no crying and asking yourself why.

You won’t ever stop worrying, but you have faith she’ll survive just like your dad did, so you make your peace with that faith.

——

*15 YEARS LATER*

Life is beautiful. There are dark times, hard losses, and horror, but if you had given in to your darkest desires and ended your life 16 years ago, you wouldn’t be where you are.

As terrifying as the cordyceps get as they mutate year after year, and little by little, life and the human race are stronger than that. If you had ended your life you wouldn’t live to see Jackson Hole get rid of its walls and trade with settlements nearby, other cities, and even states as you’ve only gained more knowledge on how to kill the infected and gained more control over them instead of living in fear under their reign.

You also definitely wouldn’t have gotten to build your family more beautiful than it was those years ago.

Had someone asked you how you saw your life, you wouldn’t have pictured the life you’re living now because you didn’t picture a thing besides your dad’s embrace and your sister's presence and your need to be amongst them, but now that you’re living your life, you can’t help but count your blessings when you remember those dark times. Every single one of them that you were gifted over the long years of your life.

You know your dad would have loved every aspect of your life and that’s what keeps you trying to make it much more beautiful.

“Okay ready…slow and easy,” you coo before you display a neat trick on horseback. “Just like that. Now you try.”

There, under the evening sun, your 15-year-old daughter graces you with a beaming grin that can warm anyone like a thousand suns.

Your uncle Tommy says whereas your smile can brighten someone's day or an entire dark room, your daughter's smile can warm anyone’s heart, and it couldn’t be more true.

“Like that?” Your daughter asks for reassurance after she attempted to mirror your actions.

“A little sloppy but you got the hang of it,” you praise her as you lean back on your horse. “That’s why…”

“We practice,” she continues for you, making you nod slowly in agreement.

“Well, I will say you’re a much better teacher than Daddy is,” she says, making you smirk smugly.

“Oh, I know.” You giggle. “Poor soul tries his best, but that’s why he’s not the one teachin’ anything.”

Your daughter giggles. “He's good at leading a town, but not teaching. I mean he speaks in technical terms. And I just—None of us get it.” She says and laughs, making you laugh along with her.

“I saw the picture examples,” you bring up, making her laugh harder. “They were very good pictures.”

“I think the best thing is when he does the sound effects,” she adds.

“Yes! Yes!” You exclaim and clap. “He’s like you just gotta ‘fwosh!’ So I gotta give him props for being funny.”

Your daughter smiles brighter and just as she turns away her smile slowly falls and her eyes squint on something behind you.

You peer over your shoulder and in a cloud of dust comes the man you’re talking about as if you summoned him.

“Oh no, he musta heard,” your daughter says and turns her horse to try and stop laughing while you turn to face Apollo with your hand over your eyes to watch him get closer until he finally reaches you and your daughter.

“Hey,” you greet happily.

“Hey,” he says back with a cheeky smile that hides something, but before you can probe about what it is or why he came to you, his attention drifts to your daughter.

“Why are you laughing over there?” He queries, making you smirk down at your reins before you look back at him and brush it off for her.

“We were just gossiping about girl stuff.”

Apollo seems skeptical but he lets it go, letting you press him next. “What brought you over here? Where’s Teddy?”

Apollo sighs and smiles softly at his hands before he meets your gaze. “Tommy is here,” he says, causing a smile to slowly tug on your face.

“Really? Why didn’t he come then? We’re still not done here.”

“He’s brought a visitor,” Apollo continues to share, piquing your curiosity.

“Oh?” You mouth and try to get an answer from Apollo, but you can’t figure out anything out from his smile alone. You just see how incredibly sexy he looks in the evening sun.

Maybe you’re just biased but he’s only gotten sexier the older he gets. He knows that and you’re always proud to tell him.

“Who is it?” Your daughter probes for you, but Apollo doesn’t even give his daughter a hint. He just points back toward the direction your house is in.

“We have to go back to see.” He teases, making you scoff.

“Alright, I’ll bite,” you say and tighten your grip around your reins. “Let’s go then.”

Before Apollo can turn his horse to follow you back home, he addresses his daughter. “Why don’t you finish bringing the animals in? Catch up after.”

“Really?” She asks with enthusiasm as she’s given a taste of independence.

Apollo nods. “You have your gun?” He asks her and she immediately nods so he adds on. “Is it loaded?”

“Yes, Daddy it is,” she assures him quickly so he can hurry and leave with you.

“Remember—”

“Yeah,” she cuts him off. “Leave the animals and go back home if I see anything, but I’ll be fine. We haven’t been alerted of any sightings.”

Apollo scoffs with a small smile decorating his lips. “Alright, alright.”

“Here,” you interject now and take your walkie off your belt loop to throw it at her, making her catch it.

“Just in case,” you add, making her nod rapidly.

After that, with that last piece of reassurance, Apollo finally moves out of his spot and has his horse turn to face the way home.

“And tell Theo not to come! I can do it on my own!” Your daughter lets you both know, making Apollo offer her a comprehensive thumbs up before you head home.

About halfway into your trip back home though, you begin to tease your husband. “Is this just an excuse to steal me away?”

Apollo glances at you and smirks. “I wish it was the case,” he says. “But no. Not this time. Besides, Teddy has also chastised me for leaving him all the work to pursue you.”

You chuckle. “Ah yes, he’s strict. I think he takes after Maria. I get to work with the easier of the two. She’s a lot more flexible and turns a blind eye.”

“We’ll have to trade partners then,” Apollo jokes, making you giggle before you fall back to thinking about what he’s keeping from you.

“So who is it?” You ask. “Is it…Benji? It’s been a while since we’ve seen him.”

Apollo shakes his head and stays being cheeky. “Nope, just wait.”

“Pft. Boo.” You quip and don’t bother wasting your breath asking him to give his surprise away because he won’t break. He likes the rush of seeing you surprised and telling you would only ruin it, or so he says.

Either way, you get nothing from him so you ride on completely clueless and curious. You have half the mind to race him there but you’re also nervous to know so you just keep at a steady pace since he doesn’t seem to be in a rush.

Maybe it’s Dina?

It wouldn’t be much of a surprise considering you see her and JJ often, but it would be nice.

Maybe it’s a present for you?! You’d like that.

Or maybe…well who the fuck knows.

All you do know is that the closer you get home, the more nervous you get. To the point your whole body is tense and you feel like throwing up. When you reach home you grip onto your reins so hard your nails begin to dig into your palms and your heart beats so fast your ribs hurt.

You almost try to leave to rejoin your daughter, but you stay on track and eventually round the corner, seeing her there on your driveway on top of a horse.

You can’t believe it. Your eyes must be deceiving you.

It must be a hallucination…

But it’s not, it’s really her. It’s Ellie.

It’s been so long that you don’t know whether to run up to her or gawk.

She…looks older. Her hair is longer of course. She dons light wrinkles, of course, but it doesn’t make her look old at all.

She also didn’t get taller of course, and she’s still petite.

“Surprise,” Apollo breaks you from your stupor, making you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before you look at him with a slow-building grin.

“It's Ellie,” he finally reveals teasingly and you just giggle nervously before you look back at Ellie and get off your horse to continue staring. One, because she’s getting off her own horse, and two, because you can’t believe it.

You’ve dreamt of seeing her so many times, but you always pictured the same girl you saw 15 years ago. You clung onto that last image that when you look at her now, 15 years feels like you’ve lived a century without her. It’s like when you saw your dad again after years. You can’t…process what you’re seeing, or who you’re seeing, you just know that you run up to her and grab her shoulders to study her from up close.

Even then, you still can't believe it.

“Hey,” she says in a voice that almost sounds the same, but after 15 years, her voice also gives away her age.

“It's me,” you whisper and continue to share your name, making her scoff in amusement before she nods.

“Yeah, I know,” she says and you laugh nervously again before you can’t help yourself and throw your arms around for an embrace.

“Ellie,” you whisper softly. “It's been so long,” you trail off and can’t help but cry softly before you look over at your aged uncle and catch the tender and loving smile on his face that makes him look like he just achieved a lifelong dream.

“I’m sorry,” she says back as she stands in your embrace with her hands at her sides.

It’s only when you start to pull away that she hugs you back and keeps you against her for a while longer.

Nothing is said between each other this time. You just bask in the moment and let your minds comprehend that the image you had of each other has changed.

To Ellie, you’ve aged gracefully. She’s seen people the same age as you and they look ten years older than they are because of the environment you live in, but you don’t seem to have been touched by any of it. You look good. Happy and full of life with the only painful reminder of a hard life being the light scar below your cloudy blind eye. A wound that stayed with you permanently because of her.

Albeit unlike 15 years ago, this time she can finally look at it without guilt or shame. That's why Ellie looks you in the eyes when you pull back and offers you the same, awkward small smile.

“I’m glad you’re here,” you break the silence, making her breath hitch.

You then raise your hands but have your hands hover over her cheeks as you study her from up close. “You’re old you old fuck,” you tease and finally make a grin spread on her lips.

“Right back at you, and you, Apollo,” she jabs at your husband, making him gasp and touch his chest with disbelief.

You giggle and then glance at your Theo and immediately grow ecstatic. “Ellie!” You exclaim and go over to Theo to grab his arm and pull him toward Ellie. “You remember Teddy don’t you?”

Ellie nods with a smile. “Yeah, Tommy introduced us while we were waiting for you.”

You grin and proudly pat your son's shoulders. “You say hi?”

Theo scoffs. “‘Course.”

“Good. She used to take care of you when you were a baby,” you remind him, making Ellie interject with a sly smile.

“Tommy covered all that and Teddy already laid it on me. Just like Maria did,” she shares making you pass your son a scolding look.

“It’s okay,” Ellie defends him. “I deserved it and he was not as harsh as Maria was.”

You sigh and smack him gently. “Still. He shouldn’t have done it.”

Theo raises his hands and offers Ellie a cheeky smile. “Sorry. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” she says and studies Theo for a moment before she looks over at Apollo and smiles wider. “He looks like you. You just have Miller eyes,” she directs back at your son.

“Observant,” he quips and flashes her a warmer smile and becomes nicer. “You’re staying, right? I have some things I need to finish, but I’ll you see later?”

Ellie looks to you and you answer for her. “She’s stayin’ so go on and finish your chores.”

Theo gives Ellie one last smile before he turns away and wraps his arm around your uncle. “Come on old man. Help me with what I’m doing.”

Both men leave and Apollo lingers behind to address Ellie. “It’s nice seeing you, Ellie. You’ve been missed,” he says with a smile before he looks at you. “I’ll let you have a moment to yourselves. Hollar if you need anything. I’ll be inside.”

“Okay, thank you darlin’,” you say and wave at him, earning a wave back and a small air kiss before he walks off and leaves you and Ellie truly alone.

“It’s nice to see you and Apollo are still together,” Ellie says, making you turn to face her again. “I had no doubt about it, but it’s still nice seeing you working together just as before.”

“Well,” you add. “We’ve had our obstacles but yeah, we’re still going strong. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

Ellie nods in comprehension so you probe. “You, do you have a partner?”

“Yeah…I do,” she shares, piquing your interest. “We have not gone as long as you and Apollo, but yeah she’s special. She stayed in town to let me have a moment with you.”

“Good,” you tell her proudly. “I’m glad. I was worried that you wouldn’t find someone else after Dina.”

Ellie’s eyebrows furrow and she sighs deeply before she parts her lips. “Well it was hard for a while, but it was not just because of her. For a while, I thought it was, but it was actually just me. My trauma.”

You hum and immediately query with concern. “But you’re happy now?”

Ellie holds your gaze and nods without hesitation. “I am. With time I learned how to be happy again. I wasn’t before. I-I realized that. I was faking so much, but after…after all of it, with time, I,” she pauses and takes a deep breath. “I hurt less and less until the pain was a memory and I could look back at my time with Joel and smile.” She says with tears welled in her eyes.

You nod in comprehension and close the gap again to grab her shoulder with a faint smile. “That’s all I wanted for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t see it. I’m sorry we couldn’t heal together.”

“You tried,” she assures you. “But I was too far gone that I couldn’t truly accept it.”

You look deep into her eyes and laugh softly. “Well look at you, sounding all wise.”

Ellie rolls her eyes but can’t help her smirk. “Yeah well, it’s been 15 years.”

You agree with a click of your tongue before you step back and point at your house. “Wanna head inside? I’ll give you a tour and maybe then you can show me if you still have those guitar skills of yours. I have a nice fire pit in the back. It’s really pretty at this time of day.”

“Yeah.” Ellie nods as she puts her hands on her hips just like she would before. “Sure.”

You smile teasingly before you lead the way inside, showing her every room on the first floor and telling her when you moved, and memories you recall of when you were restoring your house with your family. Eventually, you make it upstairs and she sees the pictures that were at your dad's house all those years ago hanging from your wall now accompanying new ones.

One picture in particular catches her eye because she sees your daughter. The same one Tommy had told her about on the rare occasions they talked.

“You have…a daughter?” Ellie asks as you lead her to the last room just down the hall.

“Yeah,” you let her know with a proud smile. “She’s fifteen. She should be home soon, we were roundin’ up the animals when you got here so she stayed to finish the job. She was eager to do it alone.”

“I remember fifteen," she muses. “I would beg Joel to let me go out on patrol or at least let me go shooting by myself.”

You chuckle. “Yeah, my dad was overly protective. It was a recipe for disaster. That’s why I trust my kids to be able to handle all that. We can’t change our world and I'd doom them if I shielded them.”

Ellie hums. “That's why I turned to you and Tommy to rebel. It’s good your kids don’t have to do that.”

“Tell me about it,” you throw over your shoulder before you open the door to the last room and welcome her to a room that holds the stuff that she left behind in the farmhouse that she once shared with Dina and JJ. And it's all like she remembers it, albeit none of her stuff is old and crumbling. They show signs that they’ve been preserved. Every single thing.

“I meant it,” you mutter as you linger by the door as Ellie makes her way into the warm and bright room—“you’ll always have a place in my house. I love you.”

Ellie stops by the guitar your dad hand-made for her 15th birthday and strums the strings with her fingers, noticing that it’s in perfect tune.

“I guess that answers why this shit is all here,” she mutters as she remains in front of the guitar.

You make your way in and stop when your shadow is cast over her. “I’m sorry I let fifteen years pass. At first, I was hurt that you left. I have my pride and you wounded it by reminding me about the pain I felt when my dad left.”

Ellie hears your shaky words and stands up to face you with her face already expressing shame.

“Because it did hurt,” you confess. “Seeing you leave, but I should have reached out after it passed. Instead, I let you have too much time just like I did with my dad hoping that would please you. I’m sorry.”

Ellie swallows thickly and slowly grabs your hand to assure you. “I’m sorry too. I was too stubborn and ashamed to come back.”

You shake your head and probe. “Ashamed? Why? You didn’t do anything.”

“No I did,” she argues. “I let Abby go. For a long time, I was ashamed to face you knowing I let her go. I left everything behind to go kill her, but I let her go and I couldn’t face anyone knowing that.”

You wrap your hand around hers and offer her a sweet smile. “You did the right thing. Do you know that now?”

Ellie nods, making you smile softly before you continue about something else. “I think we could go on and on about all the things we’re sorry for, so I just want you to know that I want you to still be part of my family. I still love you just as much as I did fifteen years ago.”

Ellie drops her gaze and sniffles before she faces you with her eyes gleaming with tears. “I would like that,” her voice quivers. “I…love you too.”

You smile at her again and then give her a quick embrace before you go and pick up her guitar to hand it to her. “Show me how good you’ve gotten.”

Ellie grabs the guitar and follows you out of the room, but when you reach your guitar in your second living room she speaks up about what she’s been hiding from you. “I can’t play.”

“What?” You retort and look back, catching her showing off her hand that’s missing two fingers. “Oh,” you gasp. “Well with that attitude you’ll sour the mood. Do you know how to play with the other hand?”

She shakes her head so you quip. “Well, there’s your solution.”

Ellie scoffs with a teasing smile and holds the guitar close to her. She’s about to say something else, but then someone comes into the house and approaches the second living room. Expecting Apollo to walk in, Ellie is surprised when she sees your daughter walking in.

“Mama,” your daughter announces her presence, making you beam at her before you rush to her side to grab her shoulders in the same way you grabbed Theo.

“Ellie, this is my daughter, Jolene. Jo-jo, this is Ellie,” you introduce them, making Jolene immediately greet Ellie with a sweet smile as she also extends her hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Ellie shakes Jolene’s hand and smiles at her with slight awe. “You,” she interjects and pauses as if her breath was stolen. “You look just like him.”

Jolene smiles brightly at you before she offers that same smile to Ellie.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie tells your daughter as she stands back. “You just really reminded me of him. Your grandpa.”

“I wish I could’ve met him,” Jolene says. “Everyone speaks so highly of him.”

“Trust me, he would’ve loved to meet you too. He did not mess about Teddy. He would’ve loved you just as much,” Ellie muses as if trying to summon him here.

“That’s good to hear.”

Ellie hums in response and then offers Jolene her guitar. “Do you play?”

Jolene shakes her head. “No, I’m not good at it, you see. Teddy is the musician. Not me. My Mama plays though. She’s good. I like to hear her play.”

“Me too,” Ellie says with a smile whilst Jolene turns to face you with a grin.

“Will you play Mama? I’m done with chores and Daddy says he doesn’t need help in the kitchen.”

“Oh, darlin’ I'm way ahead of you. Come on,” you urge and grab this guitar before you lead the group outside around the fire pit that’s in the middle of your well-cared-for yard decorated by all different kinds of flowers. All of which are precious to you. You make that known before you light the fire pit and start to play.

And just like you said, the backyard is beautiful in the evening as the sun is setting over the horizon, and the fireflies dance along the yard looking like little stars have fallen from the sky to enjoy your music.

Eventually, your son joins you around the fire, and with him comes Maria, and Ellie’s partner after Tommy and Teddy went to pick them up in town.

“Has your ‘Mama’,” Ellie mocks what the kids call you. “Told you who you’re named after?” Ellie asks Theo, making said boy roll his eyes and grumbles.

“Yes. It’s embarrassing.”

Ellie snorts and chuckles while Maria jumps in your defense. “I think it’s cute.”

“Who is he named after?” Ellie's partner asks.

“A character from the book Little Women,” you share proudly. “It’s my favorite book so I named him after a male character from it.”

“Ah. That is cute,” she backs you up which only makes you smile wider.

“Dinners ready!” Apollo announces as he and your uncle finish putting things down on a long table they placed outside. “Come eat!”

Everyone around the fire pit gets up to head to the long table and as Ellie starts to walk away, your daughter Jolene falls by her side.

“You’re staying for dinner right?” She asks her, making Ellie glance at her and be taken back a little by her similarities to your dad.

“Yeah, I am. You and your brother asked the same thing, you know?”

“Well, yeah, we’ve been wanting to meet you,” Jolene tells her sweetly before she catches up to said brother to sit beside him around the table.

“You told the kids about me?” Ellie asks you, so you take your turn to smile sweetly at her.

“‘Course. Almost every day. Just like how I talk to them about Sarah and my dad.”

You smile at her one more time before you part ways to sit at the end of the table next to Apollo and your kids while Ellie takes a seat at the side of the table with her partner, and your uncle and Maria sit on the other end, filling all the chairs that had been put around the table.

There are some people missing from the table. A couple of them won’t ever make it, but you know that one day you will be able to sit with them again.

As for now though, you’re not deprived of a thing. You smile and laugh with your Uncle, Maria, and your kids, Theo and Jolene. You share flirty and affectionate looks with your husband Apollo, and share and listen to stories that Ellie tells or that you and her share, making the moment a happy one. A memorable one, and a dream that you’ve finally got to make true.

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A/N- I'm sorry it had come to an end, but there was no point in waiting. With that said, thank you, thank you for all the love you give this story and have given it. Thank you to those who came back and those who started following it this year! I truly appreciate every single one of you. Thank you <3

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @hardbeingcasual @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @sunsumonner @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion @mmkkzz @avitute @fuckmebobboys @kitdjarin1 @barnes70stark

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